Chapter 138 A small thorn
Pan Lei's room was so neat and tidy that some everyday requirements were missing. Tian Yuan rummaged through the drawers and came up empty-handed, let alone with classified documents. Tian Yuan opened three drawers at once, finally finding a pen and letterhead in one. As soon as he picked it up, he noticed a folded piece of paper beneath it. For a brief while, Tian Yuan was intrigued. Pan Lei had a carefree attitude and had never been one to save things. Is it a love letter?
It's been neatly stored at the bottom; it must be a love letter.
Tian Yuan opened it, a little interested, and considered how to mock Pan Lei. Who would have thought the letter would turn out to be last words.
Tian Yuan felt that this sheet of paper weighed a thousand pounds. As his body trembled violently, he felt he couldn't hold it in his hands. Last words, last words?! What was Pan Lei thinking when he wrote this?
Mom and Dad, your son has been mischievous and has caused a lot of trouble since he was a child. I've angered you a lot. You're unlucky to have a son like me, but I know you love me, and your son loves you too. Your son has no choice but to forego the opportunity to do his filial duty in order to protect home and defend the country. My two elder brothers and I have already agreed that if I die, they will look after you. What your son owes you, I will repay in the next life. Last will and testament of your son, Pan Lei.
It was signed ten years ago.
Then there was another section of text below that. Tian'er, my darling, ge loves you, but ge cannot be with you for the rest of your life. I cherish the memory of every day I’ve spent with you. My savings, life insurance, governmental subsidies, and a car and property under my name are all for you. You have complete ownership of all of my assets. Please forgive me for not being able to accompany you to your old age. Ge will love you well in the next life. You will be heartbroken and in pain, but forget me and find a good person who will make your joyful days last. Remember, you will always be ge's beloved. Last will and testament of your husband, Pan Lei. This para was signed a few months ago.
Tian Yuan shuddered as he folded this testament. He had no idea why Pan Lei had written this. What did he mean by "forget me and look for a good person to be with." He had been spoiled. Meeting Pan Lei was already a stroke of luck; was there anyone better than him? Could they wash his feet, help him out of sticky situations, piggyback him, and yell "baby" at him? What did he mean when he said "forget me"? Pan Lei was imprinted on his bones and merged into his blood, becoming an inextricably linked part of him. Pan Lei believed that if he died, he would be able to live on his own?
What was the point of leaving him his property? Wasn't it pointless to leave everything for him? He only wanted Pan Lei. They had pledged to be together for the rest of their lives. They had pledged to live to a ripe old age in marital happiness. Why did he write such nonsense? To irritate him? To see how pleased he was at the time? To show him what a brutal vocation the special forces were? Please, please don't scare me. Stay with me, seek your discharge from the military, and stay with me all day and night, alright? Don't undertake dangerous work like this again, and don't let these last words come true, okay? He couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear it if anything happened to Pan Lei.
With shaky hands, he took up the pen and signed these words beneath Pan Lei's testament:
You live, I live. You die, I die.
—Last words of Tian Yuan.
If Pan Lei was willing to part with him, if he was truly desperate to finish the mission and died, he would never accept any inheritance, and he would certainly not accept Pan Lei's bullshit blessing. He would never find a better person than Pan Lei. Pan Lei was everything to him in this world. He wouldn't live if Pan Lei died.
To love someone to the depths is to be anxious. He was anxious not because he was afraid that Pan Lei would cease to be faithful, but because he was afraid he might be unable to hear Pan Lei call him “White Head” one day.
Tian Yuan wiped his tears away and sorted out his thoughts. His face was pallid as he replaced the testament.
Tian Yuan bit his lower lip and pretended to be indifferent. I’ve written my will. He couldn't bear the thought of Pan Lei noticing something was wrong with him. He'd come to see Pan Lei in the army because he wanted to spend happy days with Pan Lei. Neither of us is allowed to be sad.
"When I put on this military uniform, I thought I'd never take it off. I applied for discharge and it was approved, but I believe it is still early. There's so much to do, and I'm still thinking about the commando training for new recruits. The day after tomorrow, I will remove my collar insignia, cap, and badge, as well as my military uniform, and return to my hometown. It's all so sudden. I've been in the army for ten years, but it feels like I joined yesterday. I'll be discharged ceremoniously, but why am I being discharged so soon?"
White Head had a few too many glasses of wine and was feeling a little emotional. He was about to leave the military and was having difficulty saying goodbye to his comrades-in-arms, troops, and colleagues. All of his emotions erupted at once.
"You'd better not think you'll be discharged from the army, so I won't require you to submit a report. Send the recruit training plan to me as soon as possible tomorrow. I'm still looking forward to seeing it. When did you learn to cry and sigh like a girl, old man? What are you depressed about? You're not going all that far. There will be plenty of opportunities to meet. Come on, drink."
Pan Lei scowled and motioned for everyone to drink. When faced with the separation of comrades-in-arms, everyone felt a pang of panic in their hearts. It is said that you regret becoming a soldier for one day and regret not being a soldier for the rest of your life. No one could face the thought of removing their military uniform. The comrades-in-arms, who were as close as brothers, had endured hard training together, survived a hail of bullets, crossed the enemy's blockade, and made innumerable contributions, but this uniform would be removed in the blink of an eye.
Pan Lei had been in the army for eleven years and had bid goodbye to several of his comrades each year. What he hated the most was the departure platform and seeing his battle companions board the train. A bunch of men wailing and yelling that they were unwilling to part ways. Which of them was willing? Those who left were reluctant to leave, and those who sent them off were equally reluctant to see them go.
He was born into a military family and had grown up surrounded by military uniforms. He loved his uniform, he loved his job, and he never wanted to leave the army or the military camp in his life.
He was fortunate in that he was not burdened by his family. His entire family supported his decision to continue serving in the army. No one asked him to retire, and his lover silently supported him, so he was the luckiest one. He could work in the military camp until he was old if he wanted to.
Others had a different experience. Perhaps they couldn't carry the burden of family in their hearts, or perhaps they wanted to make their way in the world, so they left the military camp. Year after year, he was the one who had to say goodbye to his buddies.
White Head, too, didn't want to be overly depressed. They'd gathered in White Head's room to drink beer and had long since taken off their jackets. They drank, joked, and laughed at the top of their voices, ridiculing this one and tormenting that one, and played drinking games like the finger-guessing game. In any case, they wouldn't have many chances to get together for a drink in the future, so they might as well drink to their hearts' content tonight.
Pan Lei walked to his neatly packed luggage, took out the bank card, and slipped it in when White Head staggered to the washroom. This was most likely his last aid as a comrade-in-arms. White Head's family was in a difficult situation, and the money wasn't much, but it was enough to buy something for his child.
They drank noisily until the clock struck twelve o'clock. Pan Lei drank too much, as did White Head and the other deputy instructors.
White Head remarked as he tapped the glass bottle, "You have a fine lover, Team Leader Pan. You must treat him well for the rest of your life."
"Nonsense! Do I need you to say it?"
Pan Lei sprawled on his back on the floor.
Bang! White Head smacked the table.
"Then why did you go to such lengths to torment him? Look at my dark circles; you caused them last night. You were harassing him till two o'clock! Do you think he’s your inflatable doll, so you don't need to conserve your energy? There will be ample time for that later."
Pan Lei threw a beer bottle at him.
"Go f*ck yourself! You're lucky I didn't punish you for listening in on the two of us, but you still criticize me, you pr*ck!"
"Whoever falls for you is blind!"
"My Tianer's eyes are fine. Tian’er, Tian’er, I miss you."
Pan Lei lay there wailing for his beloved.
White Head stumbled to his feet and went to knock on the door of the adjacent room. The light next door was on. Tian Yuan had been waiting for Pan Lei in the room. He could tell they were drinking heavily because of the commotion and cheering in the room. Fine, go drink. Because this is a special occasion, I'll be considerate of you. Pan Lei would almost certainly drink a lot, need to go to the restroom late at night, and very likely make a fool of himself. He hadn't slept. He was reading and waiting for Pan Lei.
When the door was pounded, Tian Yuan assumed it was Pan Lei returning, so he rushed to answer it, only to discover White Head leaning against the door frame, stinking of alcohol from head to toe.
"Take, take away Team Leader Pan. He keeps calling for you. Please hurry up and take him away."
He's gotten drunk and gone insane, as expected. Tian Yuan hurried next door and yanked Pan Lei from the floor. Tian Yuan wrapped Pan Lei's arms around his neck, but because of Pan Lei's body size and muscle, he found it difficult to bear when Pan Lei leaned on him.
"Tian'er? You appear as soon as I call you, baby. You're simply my guardian angel."
"Nonsense! I'm your immortal big brother. Get up immediately, let's go back. Don't cause trouble; let's go back."
Tian Yuan coaxed and tricked him repeatedly, eventually propping him up. Pan Lei chuckled, grabbed Tian Yuan's arm, held it down, and gave him a kiss.
"I really want to kiss you today, baby."
Pan Lei's chronic condition flared up again after drinking too much, turning him into a kissing fish. He hugged Tian Yuan and muahmuahmuah kissed him non-stop.
"Go back and kiss, go back and kiss, don't let them see."
Tian Yuan supported Pan Lei’s dead weight and dragged him towards the door.
"Then give me a kiss. If you don't kiss me, I’ll kiss you. Give me a kiss, just give me a kiss."
"We’ll go back after a kiss?"
"Yeah. I assure you, sir."
Tian Yuan had no way of dealing with him, so he kissed Pan Lei. Regardless of how many people were watching him, they were a bunch of drunkards who wouldn't remember anything when they woke up the next day. He kissed Pan Lei on the cheek hastily. Pan Lei stumbled after Tian Yuan, and followed him to their room while giggling foolishly.
"My baby~ Ge adores you."
Pan Lei yelled drunkenly. His voice could rouse all the soldiers who had fallen asleep after lights out. Tian Yuan rushed to his side, opened the door, and shoved him in. Pan Lei swooped down on him and nibbled on him.
White Head let out an alcoholic belch, his eyes wide open in shock. Dr. Tian's tolerance was remarkable given the fact that the team leader was inebriated and crazy. He gently coaxed, consoled, and spoke softly. Team Leader Pan had a happy life. A bandit-like man like him could be accompanied by someone so sweet. It was similar to that phrase. What more could a husband want with a husband like this?[1]
"Damn! Dr. Tian is way too nice to him. He's coaxing him in the same way that a parent coaxes a child."
They could only admire, envy, and hate. They drank too much and could only puke while hugging the toilet bowl, but others had someone waiting on them. This guy is more popular than the dead[2], ah.
Footnotes:
[1]The original phrase is, "with a wife like this, what more can a husband ask for?" It essentially indicates that the woman is an ideal wife.
[2] It's a way of expressing frustration toward people who have it better than you.
Translator:
I hope you got the chapter's title guys🤔
There’s a minor modification to Pan Lei's title. I'm going to use Team Leader Pan Lei instead of Squadron Leader Pan Lei from now on. Because commandos are elite units, it should be Squad Leader Pan Lei. When I...feel like it, I'll make changes to the previous chapters.
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