July 29, 2022

IDYTRAA - Chapter 181

Chapter 181 Gay Parade


Tian Yuan first noticed Pan Yue's heroism at the annual LGBT march in the United Kingdom.

Pan Yue was a mad troublemaker who had startled him the first night. In fact, they got along quite well when they were together. Pan Yue liked to sit on the table with a cigarette in her mouth and shake her legs.

Tian Yuan had been fascinated by her experience since learning she was a war correspondent. Pan Lei's work was classified, and he couldn't tell anyone about it, not even his lover.

Pan Yue, on the other hand, embodied the saying 'Learn as much as you can and accomplish everything you can.'

He had a hard time accepting Pan Yue at first, constantly feeling that she was far too bold.

But after learning that she was a war correspondent who had traveled to several countries, witnessed many gun conflicts, and sent back numerous news stories, he thought she was remarkable. After they began interacting, Pan Yue would sit on the table, dangling her legs and smoking a cigarette, telling him about every unforgettable event, the hail of bullets, the orphaned children, the suffering of the people, the killings.

Tian Yuan believed that applying to the International Red Cross Society and assisting people in war-torn places was the best thing a doctor could do.

They drank and smoked together. He Lian was completely baffled. He couldn't comprehend how this duo, who had been at odds for the first five or six days, could become buddies just a week later. Tian Yuan still lived with He Lian, but they no longer fought as easily. They genuinely got along splendidly!

Pride in London is an annual LGBT parade. It is a state-approved parade, and millions of people participate each year.

Tian Yuan had the perception that this march had nothing to do with him. He went to school as normal and studied as usual. When he discovered that one of the intersections was closed due to the parade, he just turned around and took another route.

But he had forgotten that there was now a Pan Yue.

This woman hardly qualified as a woman. She was immensely energized and grabbed her camera, keen to capture shots. Tian Yuan, who was carrying the computer bag, tried to circle the road, but Pan Yue caught him.

"You're one of them, so why don't you march? Go! Protest and call for equality."

"No, thank you. I believe I am pretty equal. Pan Lei and I aren't one of them. We simply fell in love with one another. We just happened to be of the same gender upon falling in love. We're together, no one dares to discriminate against us, and our parents approve. I have a fantastic life and don't believe anything is unfair to me."

He and Pan Lei were fortunate. There were no ups and downs; they were together and deeply in love. He believed there was no need to protest or anything. Could a demonstration address this problem if people were not liberal?

Everyone is free to fall in love with anyone they choose, and it is only because people are prejudiced and narrow-minded that this type of love cannot be accepted.

Pan Yue didn't care what Tian Yuan thought. She grabbed a flag protesting discrimination against homosexuality.

"I'm looking for photographs for my collection. I'll go if you don't."

Tian Yuan couldn't keep her back, so Pan Yue blended in with the crowd. Tian Yuan called her name several times but couldn't get her to stop, so he had no choice but to follow her. So what if she was Superwoman? He was a man, and he had a responsibility to protect his sister.

He was jostled as he tried to reach Pan Yue, who was slippery as a loach, because there were too many people. He'd only just cried out, "Hey!" when he lost sight of her. Tian Yuan became dizzy as he moved through the crowd. Someone took the opportunity to grope him a few times, but he restrained himself. Sonofab*tch! If you grope laozi one more time, laozi will flip out.

Tian Yuan intended to drag Pan Yue out of the crowd when he felt someone grope his a$$ again. Tian Yuan turned around to see a golden orangutan winking at him.

"I'll f*ck you up, ba$tard! Laozi is going to fu*king destroy you."

Tian Yuan was seriously angered. He picked up his computer bag and was going to throw a punch when Pan Yue rushed up behind him, pulled him over, raised her foot, and kicked the golden orangutan in the crotch.

"You a$$hole! You dare to molest my brother-in-law!? This old lady will kick your balls into pieces!"

Her kick caused a commotion. The crowd quickly became chaotic as some people approached to quarrel. The police were expected to keep law and order, so when they saw a group brawl coming up, they intervened quickly.

The paraders then began fighting with the police.

Hand in hand, the two instigators fled the mob. Pan Yue's eyes were bright with excitement, and her face was flushed. This appearance was reminiscent of Pan Lei's. Pan Lei was excited while he was carrying a gun, but she was excited because she spotted a fight.

"Wait for me here. This is the shutter. Got it? Press the shutter and take some good shots for me. I’ll show you how our Pan family fights."

She shoved Tian Yuan under a shop so he could hide and take photos.

Pan Yue rolled up his sleeves and rushed into the melee with a battle cry. She gathered the stones on the ground and hurled them at the police, yelling, "Down with the Eight-Nation Alliance! Resist the Anglo-American mindset! Get out of our China, Big Nose!"

Tian Yuan reckoned that if he wore glasses, they would be shattered.

My dear sister, we’re in British territory, okay? You think no one can understand you when you yell in Mandarin, don't you? And you're shouting "Down with the Eight-Nation Alliance!" of all things? You and Pan Lei are indeed siblings. Your slogans are even the same.

All of the homosexuals took action with the guidance of this hot-blooded woman. They spared no effort to counter the police, pushing and hitting each other, picking up bricks and throwing them at the cops, pulling the cop car over and giving them a good thrashing.

The scene was utterly chaotic.

Tian Yuan pressed the shutter swiftly and continued snapping photographs.

In his heart, he was ecstatic. He and Pan Lei, thankfully, could love each other peacefully. Fortunately, everything was going swimmingly for the couple. Nobody dared to ridicule them, no one harassed them, and they didn't have to take to the streets proclaiming love and equality. This was far too uncivilized.

Pan Yue took up a stick and wielded it ferociously. There were five cops around, but none of them could get close to her.

People were also whistling and cheering for her. These people are insane!

Pan Yue took out the five cops one by one, then continued on her way with the massive army that had caught up behind her.

"Down with fascism, down with Hitler, down with all inequitable laws! Everyone is equal!"

Please take it easy, Sister. This is not the May Fourth Movement.

Tian Yuan put the camera away, rushed up, and drew Pan Yue out. Allowing her to march on was a bad idea. He was certain he'd have to go to the police station to get her out of jail.

He eventually pulled himself out of the crowd and hauled her back.

Pan Yue was thrilled. She didn't give a damn about her soiled clothes, which had been ripped by the jostling crowd. She examined the camera, studied the images, then patted Tian Yuan on the shoulder. "Not bad, dear brother-in-law. You're promising. Follow this older sister if you get tired of being a doctor. I guarantee you'll make a great war correspondent."

Tian Yuan was once again convinced that the Pans were far too brave.

He thought his mother-in-law was his favorite of all the Pans. Pan Lei was great, but not always - he was an overbearing control freak. His incredible mother-in-law was a goddess whereas Pan Yue was a she-devil who should not be trifled with.

Since Pan Yue's arrival, there has been so much horsing around that the days flew by. Pan Yue had been there for almost a month before he realized it. He didn't have time to think about Pan Lei this half month since he was always worried about what fresh shenanigans Pan Yue might pull.

Everyone in the Pan family was difficult to deal with. Grandpa enjoyed Tai Chi swordsmanship, Papa Pan and the two uncles loved CS, and the juniors enjoyed competing in Chinese boxing. What fantasies could he have about the family if even a woman was like this?

Pan Yue, who had nothing better to do, ran over to wreck Tian Yuan's life. She packed up her luggage and left after playing around.

"Brother-in-law, when you and Pan Lei get married, I will definitely be on the bride’s side. Big Sister will vent your anger. If Pan Lei dares to bully you, this big sister will beat him up for you."

Tian Yuan removed her hand from his shoulder.

"Sister, Pan Lei and I will marry, but I will be the groom. I’ll take the wedding car to the military compound and bring him home."

Pan Yue had only been here a few days, but his life had been totally turned upside down. He'd never fought in his life, never participated in a parade, and never hired a bodyguard to escort him. When she arrived, she set a number of precedents for him.

Some people have an intrinsic talent to dispel loneliness. Pan Lei and Pan Yue were also such people. She was here being an irritating troublemaker, getting into mischief and making the neighbors uneasy, but time zipped by.

He had to acknowledge that Pan Yue, like Pan Lei, was self-assured and carefree. Pan Lei would be a mercenary if he wasn't a special forces soldier.

Pan Yue was a natural wanderer, while Pan Lei was a born soldier. They both emanated banditry and were domineering.

Pan Yue's being there made up for his longing for Pan Lei. He occasionally mistook the person making noise in his house for Pan Lei. Although Pan Yue could be irritating at times, wasn't that the impression Pan Lei gave him at first?

Pan Lei, he thought, was also hateful at the time. But when he was gone, he'd miss him.

He knew he would miss Pan Yue after she departed. This courageous and confident woman walking alone was just as adorable as his mother-in-law. Pan Lei had a wonderful family, and they all got along well with him.

He liked how Pan Lei treated him. He liked it regardless of his temper.

Time flew rapidly, and in two weeks, Pan Lei would arrive after Pan Yue had left. His life would always be enriched by the Pans.

She was so noisy that his ordinary days became frantic and filled with gaiety. Even if she ate all of the food Pan Lei had prepared for him.

"By the way, I'll tell you something for the sake of our siblings-in-law connection. I came on to you on the first night, scaring you so much, since I had a bet with Pan Lei. Pan Lei claims you are the reincarnation of Liuxia Hui[1] and that your love for him is unshakable. I didn't trust him, so he told me I could try it for myself. He stated that he believed in his darling's love. So I put you to the test, and you did precisely what he said."

Pan Yue played a dirty trick before leaving.

"Thank you, big sis."

Tian Yuan smiled while gritting his teeth. You'd better gird your loins, Pan Lei. Just see how laozi deals with you.

"Brother-in-law, I still think that your being together with my little brother is a total waste. You truly won’t consider falling in love with me?"

"Thank you, big sis, for distracting me from my loneliness during this time."

And for giving me an excellent excuse to clean up Pan Lei.


Footnotes:

[1] An ancient Chinese politician. He was a man of eminent virtue, and is said on one occasion to have held a lady in his lap without the slightest imputation on his moral character. When he died, his wife insisted on pronouncing a funeral oration over his body, urging that none knew his great merits so well as she. Source: Wikipedia


Translator:

I've taken the liberty to change the way Pan Yue refers to Tian Yuan from "younger sister-in-law" to "brother-in-law." It bugs me when the shou is addressed with feminine nouns.

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IHSC - Chapter 65

Chapter 65 Devil’s love


"Drought demon... What exactly do you mean by that?" Wang Xiaomie inquired, perplexed.

Wen Fengjin and An Kai turned to face him. Before Wen Fengjin could respond, An Kai answered openly, with a hearty smile and a carefree attitude, "Ahh~ It’s a kind of corpse transformation."

"The corpse will be the same as it was while alive, but it will bring drought and the vegetation will dry up wherever it goes."

"Oh!" Wang Xiaomie nodded. So that’s how it is.

An Kei altered his sitting position and set aside the small blue cup filled with wine on the low table. He supported himself on the low table with one hand while embracing the person in his arms with the other.

The young general's face was as handsome as it had been at first glimpse, and his wine-stained lips were drawn in a curve.

"Madam has been in a deep sleep for thousands of years, nourished by the demon lord's blood sacrifice, and has preserved your former appearance after waking up, so you don't understand this point very well. In fact, the requirements for a transforming zombie to become a drought demon are exceedingly stringent."

"Is that right," remarked Wang Xiaomie, frowning. "Then how did you develop into a drought demon?"

"That's a long story, but there's wine and company today, so I'll tell Madam about it." An Kai's lips twitched, "The world was in upheaval following the fall of the Northern Kingdom. Several short-lived little countries emerged one after the other, only to crumble. At the same time, the Great An kingdom was created, and it was engulfed in war and civil strife... I won't get into it."

"When I was younger, as a descendant of Duke Qing, I was a prince's study companion and got along well with the Third Prince..."

Although the little kid was born into a noble aristocratic family, his elders warned him before entering the palace to befriend which prince to secure a good position in advance, but how can people's hearts be so easily controlled?

Especially when a person is still in the grip of childhood ignorance?

An Kai's brows and eyes softened, showing a reminiscence look.

An Kai, who didn't understand anything yet, merely believed what he saw. It was impossible to effectively defend against the palace women's trickery. The waters in the harem were far deeper than those in the imperial court.

Despite being the eldest son, Eldest Prince was not born to the empress. His mother was an imperial concubine with no power who died of illness quietly in the harem conflict. The empress thus raised the eldest prince. The mother appeared to be loving and the son filial, but everyone knew that the prince who would eventually sit on the throne in the future would not be Eldest Prince, but Second Prince, the empress's biological son. Furthermore, the empress was supported by her powerful clan, so Second Prince's succession to the throne was already a foregone conclusion.

What about Third Prince?

His mother was the Virtuous Imperial Concubine, and her family was likewise solid, but the ministers privately deemed Third Prince to be a 'short-sighted, sissy boy, incapable in managing people.' Simply put, he was delicate like a woman, lacked the imposing style of a monarch, and lacked knowledge and experience. He was weak, gullible, and didn't have the credibility to recruit allies.

But when the seven-year-old An Kai beheld Third Prince, who was five years his senior, he was immediately captivated by the androgynous prince's gentleness. An Kai could only judge people based on their appearance because he had not yet learnt or seen anything of the world.

The youngster's heart was left with an unforgettable memory of that startling glance back.

Unmanliness had transformed into gentleness, cowering had transformed into tolerance, and ignorance had transformed into tenderness.

He reasoned that the ministers must be blind.

An Kai smiled emotionlessly, his fingers pressed on his face, and the tip of his little finger pressed against his pale lips.

Wang Xiaomie was a bit stunned when he heard this. Why did he feel that— An Kai seemed to like that Third Prince’s appearance?!

No, no, no! How is this even possible? It must be my rotten eyes that I see gays everywhere! Wang Xiaomie knocked himself on the head and continued to listen.

Wen Fengjin, who had caught this scene out of the corner of his eye, licked off the wet wine stains on his lips, cocked his brows, and smiled wickedly.

An Kai couldn't help but disobey his family's orders and kept in touch with Third Prince. He eventually sided with Third Prince, which enraged the powerful empress and Second Prince.

It was young love, but back then, boys married at the age of thirteen, and An Kai, who was eleven years old at the time, knelt in the ancestral hall for three days and refused to give in. The Duke Qing's household, which had only this one descendant, had no alternative but to be a neutral faction with whom scores would be settled at the appropriate moment.

An Kai was freed of his responsibilities as a study companion and asked to return home to reflect.

But he never stopped communicating with Third Prince. The two depended on palace staff to trade messages and express their longing in secrecy. An Kai was immersed in the sweet loveliness day after day, year after year, and every night dreamed about that gorgeous face...

Wang Xiaomie: ... The more I listen, the more I get the feeling that the two were secretly in puppy love! What's going on!!!

After a couple of years, the imperial palace had undergone even more changes. In correspondence, Third Prince frequently expressed his fear that his Second Brother would murder him when he ascended to the throne.

"So, when I was thirteen, I traveled to the border. That was the quickest way to excel and rise in power." An Kai's head was filled with ideas about obtaining power and pushing Third Prince to the top at the time. He gave up the comfortable and opulent life of the aristocracy, and several times he tried his hardest to die on the battlefield, entirely unconcerned that he was the lone descendant of the Duke of Qing and nearly killing him out of rage!

As he scoffed at himself, An Kai lowered his eyes, snorted, and smiled sadly. "My mind was preoccupied with the person I was interested in at the time. Who had the time to think about family, parents, and whatnot?"

The young general drenched in blood grew up, and beneath his hearty exterior was a heart of steel and ruthlessness. Killing the enemy and spewing hot blood over and over had long separated him from the past.

The tender part behind his stony shell had been surrendered to the imaginary beauty in his heart.

An Kai, at the age of nineteen, was already the youngest general. He forcibly pushed Third Prince to the throne with the support of his military might and Duke Qing.

"......"

As I thought... Sure enough, he’s also gay!!! If this isn’t true love, laozi will live-stream himself eating a keyboard!!!

Wang Xiaomie lowered his face and pinched Wen Fengjin's thigh, who was smothering his laughter beside him. Wen Fengjin simply cocked his brow and leaned close to Wang Xiaomie’s ear, and smoked red Wang Xiaomie’s face with a deep sexy male voice smelling of the sweet wine.

He said, "Shixiong, I hurt~"

"......" Wang Xiaomie gnashed his teeth and muttered quietly, "Don't blow air into my ears! I'll make you hurt even more, believe it or not!" The Iron Fist of Justice was raised and ready.

Wen Fengjin chuckled cheerfully and sat inclined in a somewhat frantic manner, drinking down the cup of wine, without going over to molest Wang Xiaomie.

"As expected, I'm still so envious..." An Kai also drank up the wine and sighed as he poured another cup.

"You too, uh, it's pretty good." Wang Xiaomie cast a glance at An Kai and the person he had been holding in his arms all along. "Aren't you two already together now?"

He didn't expect An Kai to burst out laughing when he heard it. "Together? In that case, I wouldn’t have turned into a drought demon."

Wang Xiaomie: Huh?

But An Kai didn’t go on with his story, just like the fairy tales that always come to an end when 'and at last the prince and the princess lived happily ever after.'

Because even storytellers understand that what came after intense love was not necessarily happiness.

The same was true for An Kai. The self-delusion in his mind that was older than him, incredibly kind and pure, with all imperfections erased by his brain, was the 'Third Prince' he had always loved.

And how could the real Third Prince possibly take a child's love seriously? The Duke of Qing, who was behind An Kai, was what mattered.

After tasting the sweetness of An Kai's favor, the Third Prince deliberately tried to please An Kai.

The Third Prince and his imperial concubine mother researched all of those sweet notes and hints in the notes An Kai received.

That so-called secret love had long been dragged out and dissected countless times.

The Third Prince was five years older than An Kai, and when An Kai went to the battlefield at the age of thirteen, the Third Prince was eighteen and should have been married. But both the Third Prince and his imperial concubine mother knew that with the empress’s suppression at the time, how could a girl from a powerful family marry the Third Prince?

So the Third Prince simply did not marry, and a few clean palace maids were arranged to ‘attend’ to him temporarily, claiming that it was for An Kai’s sake...

"Actually, it wasn’t the ministers who were blind, but me."

An Kai's frank smile remained as he ripped open the bloody dark fairy tale to a stupefied Wang Xiaomie.

Whenever An Kai returned from the frontier and wanted to be intimate with the Third Prince, the Third Prince was coy and said bashful words to avoid An Kai. But An Kai was blinded by his own fantasies at the time and didn't doubt him.

Later, as soon as he established the Third Prince on the throne, the border requested emergency aid. Some of his information suggested that the occurrence was suspicious, but he nevertheless went for the sake of his beloved's country. Surprisingly, immediately after arriving on the battlefield, the Third Prince, who had now become Emperor, executed the entire clan of Duke Qing on bogus charges!

Then he turned around and severed An Kai's army's supplies and vanguard, trapping him in the enemy's encirclement...

Efficient and decisive, as if he'd been looking forward to this day for a long time, barely falling short of pushing him on the final journey.

"......" Wang Xiaomie also picked up the wine cup and took a sip in silence.

Too tragic. F*ck, it's too tragic, isn't it?

After annihilating An Kai's whole army, the newly appointed general commanded the army to immediately settle the war situation. They all thought An Kai was dead, but An Kai survived and relentlessly returned to the Imperial City like an evil spirit, despite his injuries, which surprised everyone.

The Duke of Qing's Mansion was in ruins because of his 'love'. An Kai sniffed the smell of blood on his chest expressionlessly, and sneaked in through the secret passage that he had originally used to hang out with the Third Prince in the palace.

So, while the new emperor was celebrating, An Kai strangled all of the newly crowned princes and princesses (he had no idea the Third Prince already had children), as well as the concubines, palace maids, and court eunuchs.

They were all cleanly dispatched!

The commotion quickly drew notice...

It was still the imperial palace, no matter how cautious he was. An Kai came in front of the new emperor while he was being hunted, and using his ample resentment and hatred as the driving force, he captured the new emperor despite his innumerable lethal wounds.

In truth, An Kai was already dead at that point, but his mind was foggy and he didn't realize it.

After executing the largest vengeance murders in history, An Kai grabbed the Third Prince, who was scared witless, and dragged him to the border without shutting his eyes, with assassins pursuing him.

An Kai omitted the ups and downs of that journey, just stating that the Third Prince still felt like struggling to kill An Kai during the process, but An Kai's body had already mutated and resisted the knife. Instead, An Kai pulverized the Third Prince’s legs with rocks!

An Kai's body gradually developed livor mortis. His eyes turned scarlet, his body began to stink, and he sprouted very long red hair. Even the assassins and chasing soldiers were terrified by his appearance and refused to approach.

Everyone believed that General An had already perished on the battlefield, and that his raging resentment had transformed into a demonic entity.

In this way, An Kai also brought the Third Prince to the battlefield where all of his subordinates had died, and killed the Third Prince with his own hands before killing himself...

"Now that I think about it, I understand it wasn't death..." An Kai stated: "The innumerable grievances and slaughter on the battlefield at the time shaped me into this monster. Later, fearing that I would do something evil, the newly chosen child emperor listened to the Taoist priests' advice and instructed the Taoist priests to bury me in Qi Mountain."

"They knew the score of how I died, so the child emperor erected a sign for me and my murdered brethren and placed it in the Martyrs' Shrine to placate popular sentiment."

An Kai downed his wine and hugged the person in his arms. "I love him, and he loves me too. But if he makes a mistake, I will correct him."

"Even if it means shattering his bones, I will correct his mistakes... he can’t move, can’t speak, but that’s okay because he’s the one I love."

An Kai laughed loudly and heartily before using a rough palm full of scars to grab the head and neck of the person in his arms through the plain white fabric and kissing him. Gods only know if it was Wang Xiaomie's imagination, but he seemed to see the white cloth bundle trembling.

Even if the white cloth bundle didn't tremble, Wang Xiaomie was sure as hell on the verge of doing so.

He was wrong...

This man was way too similar to Wen Fengjin okay!

Wang Xiaomie glanced at An Kai's candid smile, and his intimate actions with the person hidden behind the white cloth made his scalp feel numb. It wasn’t that An Kai didn’t understand reality; rather, even if he did, it didn't matter!

He liked the Third Prince in his memory, and if the other party did not match his memories, he would just knead the other party into the appearance he preferred.

Murder all your children and then break your legs, turning you into a crippled zombie unable to run away or speak, and papapa have sweet sex with you even after you die, making even suicide impossible...

Dead but not at peace, this paranoia was absolutely perfect!

Wang Xiaomie was so shocked that his jaw was about to drop, but Wen Fengjin nodded in appreciation, "Not bad."

"Senior is too kind."

"Hehehe."

"Hahaha."

The two men exchanged smiles, touched their cups, and continued to smile and sip the wine.

"......"

Wang Xiaomie cast a solemn glance towards An Kai's white bundle. He had the impression that Friend White Bundle had long switched into vibration mode...

Then he continued to glance at Wen Fengjin and An Kai in turn. One was more handsome than the other, and one had a brighter smile...

F*ck me.

What the heck is this unique devil’s love?

Divorce, must divorce!

***

The author has something to say:  [Small Theater]

Wang Xiaomie: My mother was right; a handsome man is a tiger!

Third Prince: Wuwu!

Wang Xiaomie: Divorce, must divorce!

Third Prince: Wuwu!!!

Wen Fengjin: Hehe.

An Kai: Haha.

What? An Kai is not buying soy sauce[1]. Everyone will understand in the next chapter okay! And a little cutie even guessed An Kai's love story, hahaha!


Footnotes:

[1] The popular way netizens say that something is none of one’s business.


Translator:

Wow, what a tragedy

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July 25, 2022

IDYTRAA - Chapter 180

Chapter 180 Pan Yue is a man-eating flower


"I still believe your husband has a physical issue. He can't seem to get it up for women."

Pan Yue was still not convinced that she had lost and blamed Tian Yuan.

"F*ck you! He's fine; he just has some hypotension, but there's nothing wrong with him. What male disease, he just doesn't like you. He only loves me. His equipment works perfectly when the two of us have sex. Bah! Why the hell am I telling you about our bedroom secrets!? You hear me? Hurry up and get out! Don't try to flirt with him. Can you afford to pay for his suffering if he's really scared?"

Pan Lei just wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible. He must not, under any circumstances, alert his husband of the wager. That was the end of it. Teasing him? Tian'er would erupt if he realized they were playing tricks on him.

Tian'er was so frightened that he fled. If he found out that this was his own play, he figured Tian Yuan would take him to The Corpus Museum, point to those Formalin-soaked hearts, stomachs, spleens, and kidneys, and smile, "This is your heart, and that is your liver. You sonofab!tch, teasing laozi?! Laozi is going to skin you alive."

"First things first. Promise not to tell Tian Yuan about this. If he’s pissed off, he’ll gladly take it out on me. I’ll undoubtedly be punished."

"Can you show some guts, Pan Lei, for the sake of our grandparents? Shit, you're so henpecked! Isn’t a wife for driving[1]. If he argues with you, give it to him hard. He'll pipe down right away."

"OK! Find a man, Eldest Sister, and I'll make sure to tell my brother-in-law what you just said. Give me a few days of peace and quiet to coax him back. Besides, you have nothing better to do, so pick him up and drop him off. There is one of his classmates who likes to bother him. I taught him a lesson, but please keep an eye on him. If he doesn't give up, help me in thrashing him once more. If Tian'er is late, go pick him up. I genuinely dislike that country's security."

Pan Yue nodded, picking her feet.

"Relax. This old lady will help you take care of your girl. But you need to find a man in the army for me. F*ck man, my mother is pressuring me to marry again."

"It’s a deal."

He Lian was telling Uncle Tian Yuan, who dared not return, next door: "Actually, my little sister was extremely cute when she was a child. I swear. She did catch toads, but she never played them to death. She put them into my quilt to scare me, but she never hurt the weak. Sometimes she wished she wasn't a girl. That's it."

Pan Lei also made a special phone call to coax him.

"Don't worry, baby; that woman has been dealt with by me, and she will not try to pull any more tricks. You can return to your normal life. She has promised to assist me in caring for you while she is in England playing."

"I'm almost thirty, Pan Lei, and I can do it on my own. I'm capable of handling anything. Why on earth would you want such an oddball to look after me? Did she grow up hungry in a primitive jungle as a child? Did she greet Tarzan with a "hello neighbor"? Is your aunt's family from Xishuangbanna[2], by chance?"

"Hey! How do you know my aunt's family stayed in Xishuangbanna?"

Tian Yuan wanted to slam the phone down. He was caught in a bandit den and couldn't escape even if he wanted to.

He'd rushed through his belongings and left some behind. His books and other things remained in his home, but he was terrified of that woman who might strip naked and ask to have sex with him. He was rigid in his thinking and couldn't come up with clever schemes like the Pans. He took everything seriously, therefore he considered this friend as a great scourge and refused to return.

He Lian accompanied him back to his house. Pan Yue, no matter how much of a troublemaker she was, would never dare to screw around in front of the two of them.

Tian Yuan was taken aback by Pan Yue's latest appearance. She was dressed in loose green pants tucked into ankle-high military boots, with her hair tied up, a white tank top, smoking a cigarette, and cooking food in the kitchen.

"I was joking, Tian Yuan; don't take it seriously. Grandma and Aunt both chastised me. Don't worry, I'm not going to tease you anymore. I just wanted to check whether you were a promiscuous person. You passed my test. Like Eldest Brother mentioned, you're a pretty nice guy. It's just... Damn it! When will this old lady have the dumb luck of marrying such a man? Leizi is a cheapo."

Tian Yuan wanted to hurt someone. If Pan Lei were here at this time, he'd likely unleash a barrage of kicks and knock Pan Lei to the ground while yelling, "F*ck you; your uncle! You are a bandit, your family is a bandit, and your neighbors are bandits as well."

What do netizens say? Right! 'You'll have nothing but regrets after you marry into a wealthy and powerful family.' He regretted it with such relatives, okay? How was he supposed to get by these days with such a sister?

Pan Yue's cheap cooking talents were not awful, which meant she was on the verge of wrecking the kitchen. Tian Yuan couldn't help but lose it as he looked at the bags of dumplings that had been split.

"Pan Yue, I warn you; this is the food that Pan Lei prepared for me. If you want to eat Chinese, ask him to cook it for you. You’re not allowed to spoil my stuff. He won't be here till the end of next month. What am I expected to eat if you gobble everything?"

Pan Yue was sipping a beer. She smiled as she noticed Tian Yuan glaring and yelling at her.

"Oh~ What am I seeing here? Leizi said that his family is a little sheep; which country's exploding sheep is this, hm? Aren’t you a wild cat? Take care of your image, handsome guy. You're supposed to be a gentleman."

"Bullshit! Can an image be eaten?"

"Okay, I get it. I'm not going to touch your food again. Tut! Don't you simply have a lover? What are you smug about? Just you wait for this old lady to find a man. This old lady will be happier than you."

Tian Yuan looked at He Lian, who looked at Pan Yue but said nothing and ate with his head down. I feel that if we have more "sisters" like you, men all around the world will like men.

Pan Yue's personality was too distinct to be compared even to Pan Zhan and Pan Ge. One of the two brothers was smooth and slick, while the other was calm and two-faced. Pan Lei, on the other hand, was a bandit through and through, but his older sister was a tyrannical flower, nay, a man-eating flower. She was too intimidating for him.

Didn't Pan Lei ask her to look after Tian Yuan? Well, she did a splendid job. No one could get within one meter of Tian Yuan with her personal protection. Even Tian Yuan's peers couldn't get close to him, let alone the French guy. She sat casually on the desk, one foot on the table, chewing gum, wearing excessively huge earrings, and a short jacket with a skull design on it. Her appearance was that of a little tomboy in society.

Tian Yuan went to the hospital. She waited at the entrance, catching a few thieves in passing and cracking down on street hooligans.

Tian Yuan went to the library. She read manga while laughing her head off. Tian Yuan, who couldn’t get rid of this tail, quickly took her away.

When Tian Yuan returned home at night, she walked alongside him with a baseball bat, scaring the proper neighbors into not approaching him.

Tian Yuan's eating bills had increased as they ate out. Pan Yue's appetite was 1.5 times greater than his, and he could be said to have gained knowledge. With a waist circumference of only 26 inches, this woman could devour five Big Macs and two glasses of Coke in one sitting, blench, and then attack the KFC family bucket.

Overall, she was a terrific bodyguard. Bad guys couldn’t get close to him, and neither could the good guys.

She also went in search of the Frenchman and shook her fist at him once. The Frenchman was so frightened that he detoured every time he spotted Tian Yuan.

This zeal was even greater than when Pan Lei was present.

Tian Yuan secretly inquired of He Lian when his valiant little sister would depart. He was desperate to return to his home.

Tian Yuan never returned to his room since he was too nervous to stay there. Who knew this older sister wouldn't grope him in the middle of the night? She was nutty and capable of anything. He was devoted to Pan Lei and never wanted to do anything that would let him down. However, as soon as he opened the door, a black rose wearing only a bikini arrived, and he was physically and mentally traumatized. So he just stayed at He Lian's house, but he sorely needed the pillow that Pan Lei had gotten him. He'd be A-OK with that pillow.

He Lian patted him on the shoulder, a sympathetic expression on his face. "My younger sister stated that she enjoys being with you and that it is delightful to be with you. She treats you like a toy and claims you're the most attractive man in the Pan family. When you're angry, your hair stands up like a wild cat from head to toe. When you're not mad, you're a gentle scholar like Ning Caichen. She longs to return to China, but her mother is pressuring her to marry, so she cannot. Have fun. She's here to stay."

Tian Yuan wanted to howl at the heavens. Is laozi's existence solely to serve as a toy for your sister? When will this kind of life come to an end!? He was on the verge of collapsing.

"You get rid of her, Pan Lei. Get her out of here as soon as possible. Take her away. At once!"

Pan Lei yanked his hair but didn't admit that this "pal" wasn't listening. Besides, he and his "pal" were still allies who had teamed up to put Tian Yuan to the test. If he got rid of Pan Yue, his pal, she would be unhappy and make himself miserable.

"Just tell her that some country is in a tense situation and needs war correspondents. She’ll definitely leave."

"She’s a war correspondent?"

"She is primarily a photographer, although she prefers to spend her time on the battlefield. She typically works as a war correspondent in various countries, photographing and issuing press releases."

Tian Yuan actually found Pan Yue rather awe-inspiring. This woman didn't make a living by fighting. Her work was likewise honorable and serious. But he hadn’t seen her taking pictures with a camera everywhere. Forget about it. Since she was on vacation and wanted to stay at his house, let her stay. What was he arguing about with a woman? Besides, she was Pan Lei's older sister, wasn't she?

She may be an unruly woman, and the Pans may be a bandit family, but each and every Pan was exceptional. Pan Zhan's company was performing well. Pan Ge was the Chief of the Police Bureau, and his career was on the rise as well. Pan Lei was a commando in the army. Pan Yue was a girl, but she was gutsy.

"Be patient for a few days. To be honest, I’m relieved that she’s with you. He Lian is no doubt a good man, but he’s a bookworm. You can’t really count on him in times of danger or trouble. She might be aggressive, yet she can help you when I’m not around. I’m not concerned about your personal safety."

Tian Yuan was rendered speechless. He was thirty, or nearly thirty. Could Pan Lei just quit treating him like a three-year-old? He will look after himself. There was no need to go all over the place looking for a guardian for him.

"At worst, I'll help you drive her away when I visit you next month."

Oh, no! Tian Yuan exhaled a sigh. That would take a month. He was in a lot of pain, you know?


Footnotes:

[1] Driving is euphemism for sex.

[2] Xishuangbanna is known for its folklore, rain forests, rare plants, and wildlife, as well as its natural, historical, and cultural riches. TY is essentially suggesting that Pan Yue is a savage.


Translator:

Titbit: The Corpus Museum is a human biology interactive museum, located near Oegstgeest in the Netherlands.

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July 21, 2022

IDYTRAA - Chapter 179

Chapter 179 Pan Yue, the macho lady


Pan Yue refused to stay at He Lian's house under any circumstances. She took her baggage and proceeded into Tian Yuan's house.

Tian Yuan hadn't ever lived in the same house with a woman before. When Pan Lei learned of the situation, he nearly used the next month's vacation to return to England, but was constrained to merely grip the phone and howl.

"Get the hell out of there! Don't stay in our house! You’re an unmarried girl who ran to our place to hook up with my hubby! You’ve grown up, but there’s no sign of tenderness or virtuousness in you. Your eyes glow green the moment you see a modest gentleman. Leave right now!"

This friend lived up to her notoriety as a member of the Pan family. "Hahaha..." she laughed heartily as she stepped onto the coffee table with one foot and one hand on her waist.

"This old lady will live right here, and your man will be mine as well. This old lady likes mild men. Don't bother harping on about 'my family's husband,' I'll let him be my little concubine and serve in bed. Every night, this old lady shall love and spoil him and make him give me a baby!"

Tian Yuan was cooking dumplings in the kitchen. He was embarrassed to hear these two brainless people's shameful dispute.

What's the deal with this older sister? She wants to stay here, so let her stay. It's not like I can refuse, even if this sister is famously unreliable.

This was a female bandit. His poor mother-in-law was only edified, but the only other natural bandit besides Pan Lei was Pan Yue.

Pan Lei dialed Tian Yuan's number. His sister had definitely bullied him. Pan Lei began muttering peevishly as soon as the call was connected.

"Everyone in the world despises that shrew."

"Hey! Don’t say that."

Tian Yuan shut the kitchen door behind him. It was wrong of Pan Lei to remark so. Pan Yue was flesh and blood to him. How could he say such a thing?

"Oh, my baby, you have no idea she's not a woman at all! She and I have been fighting since we were children. I've always beaten Huang Kai and Lin Mu, but this woman has been tough since she was a kid. She scratched my face and pulled my hair. Every time I battled with her, I got hurt. Dolls and the like are popular among little girls, right? But do you know what this girl did? She dismembered her dolls! She detested girly things even as a child. Can you guess what she liked? She preferred catching toads, worms, and snakes to playing with me!

Since she was 18, her dream lover has been a modest and mild person. Her ideal lover is that Keanu Reeves fella, gentle like jade, mild-mannered, and a little melancholic. She falls head over heels in love the moment she sees a good-looking intellectual man. She pursued her university lecturer and scared him into going abroad. She also chased her university senior, who was too frightened to like women once she was done, so my grandfather enlisted him in the army.

She took off her military uniform and began running around the world after sulking for many years. My family's darling is so endearing, calm, handsome, a wonderful person, and upright. Her tastes are similar to mine, and she will undoubtedly steal you from me. Baby, don't pay attention to her and don't cook for her. Just  drive her away! I spoke with my commanding officer, but he refused to give me permission to travel abroad again and ordered me to wait a month. But I'm worried! What shall I do if that woman gobbles up you? You know, that's the Old Black Mountain Demon. But she desires Ning Caichen rather than Nie Xiaoqian[1]."

Tian Yuan burst out laughing as he spoke. Yeah, I see you both have similar preferences. You're both bandits.

"How I wish I had come to see you a few days later. I’d be able to protect you from that pervert’s bullying. How about you go stay with He Lian and give that witch our house? I'm really afraid that you’ll be taken advantage of."

"Enough already. She’ll just be here for a few days. What are you getting riled up about? She's just kidding."

It was unnecessary for an adult to take a fight between two children seriously.

"Just kidding? She vowed to take you to bed tonight and to sleep with you every night."

"Unlikely. You’re being oversensitive."

"Baby, she’ll conduct counter-surveillance, so keep the windows and doors shut tight. You must be careful! Make sure you put the high-voltage stun baton under your pillow. The switch is on the stun baton’s left side. Simply flip the switch to discharge the current. You can stun her with a single click."

Tian Yuan felt helpless. That’s your own sister, you know. Your prank might kill her, okay?

"How long should the dumplings be cooked?"

"When the water begins to boil, add a little cold water, let it boil again, add cold water, let it boil again, and it's done. Could you please concentrate? I'm telling you something serious."

"I'll be really busy these days. The professor wishes to take us to prominent hospitals to observe surgeries. Do you think I'll be able to entertain her? When she gets bored, she'll leave. Please don't let your imagination run wild."

What a petty guy! Whenever he saw a man or a woman around Tian Yuan, he became anxious. He could beat him up if it was a guy, but if it was a girl, he could only warn her and worry himself to death. Wasn't it like 101 Dalmatians to send his family's adorable kitten to a witch?

That witch will devour my family's baby and leave nothing but his bones behind.

So scary, so worrying.

During dinner, He Lian buried his head in his bowl and shoveled the food. Pan Lei's cooking was excellent, and the dumplings were delicious. Tian Yuan was also eating, but Pan Yue ate a dumpling, drank a sip of wine, chewed a garlic clove, glanced at Tian Yuan, and grinned. She played a bit of the footsie game, which bewildered and panicked Tian Yuan.

In truth, Pan Yue was rather pretty. It was only that she was a little too tanned, exuded too much banditry, and was a touch too casual.

Tian Yuan had shut the door to his room and was going over the documents. Pan Yue was staying in the guest room, and he was in the master bedroom, which had nothing to do with each other.

Who would have imagined Pan Yue would take off her bra and panties, wrap a towel around her body, push open his bedroom door, and saunter in.

Tian Yuan hurriedly grabbed the jacket on the side and slipped it on. He'd unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt after entering the bedroom. He had no idea this lady would barge in like this!

He was on the verge of grabbing the quilt and wrapping himself in it. He had a strong probability of becoming the one being molested.

"I’m borrowing your bathroom for a shower. You continue."

Keep going, my foot! A woman entered his bedroom and bathroom, taking off her clothes as she walked. She was about to remove the last piece of clothing when she arrived at the door. Tian Yuan felt compelled to flee.

He sneakily took the phone and dialed Pan Lei, asking what he should do. Nobody could live with such a woman!

"Damn! Her uncle! She came right in huh. I’m telling Grandma that my older sister is plotting to snatch my lover. Oh Tian'er, my baby, hurry up and pack your things! Stay at He Lian's house. Don’t come back until she’s gone! Let her play crazy by herself at home. If she makes a mess of the house, I’ll clean it up when I come. Hurry up and leave! It’ll be too late otherwise!"

Pan Lei began to hop around. Tian Yuan acted quickly. He grabbed the computer bag, a few clothes, and his coat and prepared to flee. This woman was far too great. He simply couldn't handle it. No wonder some men are so afraid of women that they fail to like them! He guessed that after being traumatized by someone like this, even a manly man would be afraid to accept women.

This pal leaned against the bathroom door, her hair loose and her body covered in a bath towel, before he could leave.

"Hey handsome, why are you leaving?"

Tian Yuan shuddered. He was terrified of living with this woman. Dr. Li, the intern, Mama Dang Hong, and now this Pan Yue... These four women were simply representatives of different types of women, but each of their dispositions were such that he couldn't take it.

"I… I'm heading to school! I need to double-check certain data."

He fastened the last button of his jacket as if his life depended on it. Even at the beginning of their acquaintance, Pan Lei had never made him feel this nervous. He was a bandit at the time as well, but he was certainly different from this type of bandit.

"It's too late to go anywhere. Please let’s go to bed, okay."

Pan Yue took Tian Yuan's arm and slowly dragged him back. Tian Yuan tried everything he could to break away. He now realized how awful it was for Nie Xiaoqian to be caught and hauled away by the Old Black Mountain Demon.

"Eldest Sister, men and women should not touch hands when they give or receive things[2]. You, you better stop teasing me."

Pan Yue stroked Tian Yuan's face a few times before softly blowing air on him. Tian Yuan was terrified and desperately wanted to wrap his entire head in his jacket. He trembled uncontrollably. He'd never been harassed by a beautiful vixen before. Pan Lei, the ultra-large pervert wolf, had always attacked him.

"Oh handsome, you don't know how much I've admired men like you since I was a child. Mild mannered, modest, and overall possessing a clean temperament like Xu Zhimo - a stunning scholar and noble. Pan Lei, that bandit, is not for you. Follow this older sister, okay? This older sister will make certain that you live like a prince, eating and drinking well and dressed in silk."

Tian Yuan gave a stiff smile. The Pan family was rife with bandits. From old to young, they were all bandits. Even the women were bandits!

Pan Lei was at least a little more subtle when he was pursuing him. "Be with me," he'd said. "I'll spoil you, cherish you, and treat you as if you were an ancestor. I'll pamper you and love you for the rest of my life."

Tian Yuan vigorously drew his hand back, but this woman was a superwoman after all. Pulling his hand was equivalent to trying to release it from a tightly locked clamp.

"Eldest Sister, Pan Lei and I have a wonderful life. We also eat good food, drink well, and wear well-known labels. We don’t lack anything. You, you should let go. I'm leaving."

Women are tigers, and he had just met a dinosaur.

Pan Yue began untying his clothing, her perfume reminiscent of orchids. Tian Yuan desperately averted his head away from her.

Pan Lei, you a$$hole, why didn't you tell me clearly that your family’s female bandits are even tougher than you!?

"Older Sister will take good care of you."

Tian Yuan couldn't take it anymore. He would not return to this house as long as Pan Yue was still here, even if he was battered to death. I'm done with you! Tian Yuan shoved Pan Yue aside, hugged his computer bag, and escaped. He dashed down the stairs and sprinted all the way to He Lian's house. This woman was too wicked, too scary. Who was the most ferocious Pan? It was neither Grandpa Pan nor Grandma Pan, nor was it Pan Lei. It was this Lady Devil.

Pan Yue scoffed and took off her bath towel. A pair of tight-fitting sports undergarments was inside. She took out her phone and dialed Pan Lei's number.

"You should take care of your family's hubby. His physique is abysmal, and he is impotent towards women. I knew it would be impossible for such a good man to be with you. Because of his health issues, he had no choice but to give in to you."

"F*ck you! He's perfectly fine, thank you. You frightened him so much. Just you wait."

"Hey! I'm your only sister, you little ba$tard. I just want to put his devotion to you to the test. You are, after all, in China. You know crap even if you come once a month. Even if he's with a hundred women behind your back, you won't know. I was virtually naked and he still ignored me and bolted. This can indicate one of two things. First, he remains faithful to you and will not mess around behind your back. Second, are you sure he is not impotent or suffering from a male condition such as premature ejaculation? A naked, lovely woman is in his arms, and he isn't even tempted? He clearly has some health issues."

Pan Lei was triumphant. Pan Yue and Pan Lei had made a wager. Pan Yue stated that she did not believe Tian Yuan could resist the allure of a woman because his first experience with love was being kidnapped by Pan Lei. He used to like women before encountering this bandit. Pan Lei, on the other hand, believed it was impossible. As a result, they made a bet. Pan Yue was in charge of seducing Tian Yuan to observe how he reacted. Pan Lei easily won.

"My baby loves me and only me. You are a b!tch, so of course he won’t even look at you."


[1] These three people are from the A Chinese Ghost Story franchise. I don't know enough about the story to elaborate.

[2] As per Mencius’s writings. He was a Confucian scholar.


Translator:

I like Pan Yue! What an analysis­čśé

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IHSC - Chapter 64

Chapter 64 The drought demon An Kai


When Wang Xiaomie opened his eyes, the vigorously blooming peach flowers blinded him. He couldn't tell where he was at the time, and it took him a while to recollect that he and Wen Fengjin had returned to the underground palace.

Someone next to him stretched out his arm and placed it on his lower belly, causing his back to press into the man behind him's chest and lower abdomen. There was also a 'third person' between them.

Wang Xiaomie's mouth twitched, and the Iron Fist of Justice[1] was lifted up and slammed down. The man behind him moaned in agony, leaning his chin on Wang Xiaomie's shoulder and saying hoarsely and stickily: "It hurts."

"You broke it."

Wang Xiaomie sneered: "Unlikely. Given our ability to heal, even if it is broken, it can grow back!"

Wen Fengjin's breath was cool, and he laughed as he asked in a husky voice, "What if it grows crooked?"

Wang Xiaomie looked back and glared at him: "It wasn't straight in the first place!" It was so bent that it had turned into a mosquito coil[2]!

"Let’s get up. Isn’t this the day your friend is coming to see you? Even if we’ve turned into zongzi, we must clean up. What would our guest think if he finds us lying in the coffin in disheveled clothes!"

Wang Xiaomie said this, but his hand crept inside Wen Fengjin's loose robe collar, feeling the hard muscles inside. Wang Xiaomie was startled, coughed dryly, and groped several times before nonchalantly climbing out of the coffin.

Wen Fengjin narrowed his eyes and relished the sensation of skin to skin contact. When that frisky hand left, Wen Fengjin's deep pupils dilated slightly, and he rubbed his tongue against the sharp end of his teeth in silence.

Wang Xiaomie sat on a round stool after changing into new fiery garments, and Wen Fengjin lovingly brushed his long and cumbersome hair with a cow horn comb before tying it up with a headband and donning a jade crown hairpin.

WXM's hairstyle

Wang Xiaomie brought Wen Fengjin to the bronze mirror to arrange his clothes, then closed his eyes and summoned Mu Yi and the others, just as Wen Fengjin did.

Mu Yi and the rest had arrived at the side palace hall by the time Wen Fengjin was ready.

"Hmm...how shall we entertain our guest?" Wang Xiaomie paused for a moment before beginning to assign tasks one by one, from Mu Yi to Mu Shi. "The tomb palace has many mechanisms. Mu San, go turn off everything that can be turned off.  It will be embarrassing if the guest walks to the door and falls to a corner. And those merman lights, light them all up and make them as bright as possible..."

"We have a lot of beautiful cups in the side palace hall... I don't know where to entertain the other party when they arrive." Wang Xiaomie turned his head and asked Wen Fengjin. "Where did you drink wine the last time?"

Wen Fengjin, who was listening to Wang Xiaomie's arrangements with great interest, chuckled, "Right under the tree."

"Okay..."

Wang Xiaomie thought for a moment before saying, "Xiao Wenzi, you take down the coffin and put it away in the side palace hall first. It’s not good to have a 'bed' while drinking. Then, Mu Wu, you put up the small table and futon cushions from the side palace hall, as well as those beautiful wine cups."

"Right! Speaking of drinking, how come I didn't know that there is wine in our tomb palace!" Wang Xiaomie glared at Wen Fengjin, "Are you still keeping wine hidden behind my back?"

"Some bottles were buried at the time of burial. I rarely drink it." Wen Fengjin couldn't stop himself from laughing. "You really have the air of Madam Wen," he observed with a smile, looking at Wang Xiaomie, who was seriously ordering and racking his brains to organize the tomb palace.

Wang Xiaomie: "...Bah."

Who is the Madam? You are the Madam! If you don’t believe me, I’ll take my pants off and show you!

Wang Xiaomie rolled his eyes at Wen Fengjin and told him to haul a$$. Mu Yi and the others cheerfully accepted their orders and sprang up to do their own thing. They seemed to think it was fun and saw it as a game.

Wang Xiaomie even ordered Wen Fengjin to labor, and he did it with such enthusiasm that it perplexed Wang Xiaomie.

He had no idea how serious and attentive he appeared to Wen Fengjin, as if he considered the tomb palace his home and felt a sense of belonging to it.

After Wang Xiaomie's frenzied work was finished, the entire tomb palace appeared spanking new—no, not really, but the bright lights would give people the warmth of a home.

It also gave Wang Xiaomie a sense of accomplishment.

He was about to ask Wen Fengjin when that person would arrive when he heard him remark, "He's here."

Wang Xiaomie and Wen Fengjin were standing arm in arm in the pavilion on the cliff linking the high platform at the time. Wang Xiaomie stood up straight and looked outside when he heard this.

Rows of everlasting merman lights lit up the entire side palace hall, and a group of people soon arrived in their line of sight...

It was a young man dressed like a military general and holding something in his arms, with a beast head belt tied around his waist and soft armor on his body. He wore a long sword around his waist, and his copper-inlaid boots created a 'tinkling' sound when he moved. He didn't wear a helmet; instead, he wore his hair up with a headband and a long feather crown. He moved with broad strides, unrestrained yet calm, and his entire physique appeared light without being burdensome, like a small general in a certain game. In terms of age, he appeared to be around nineteen years old.

Wang Xiaomie: ...He could of course have been nineteen when he died. As for how many years he’s been nineteen... I heard Wen Fengjin say it has been a thousand years.

After nearing the side palace hall, the 'people' who were vaguely accompanying him did not leave.

Only that young general was still on the move. The other party's appearance was not as horrifyingly ugly as a zombie in Wang Xiaomie's imagination, but rather like a living human. When he came closer, Wang Xiaomie realized what he was holding in his hand was not something, but a person.

A person who was tightly bound and lacked legs...

The other party obviously noticed them as well. He smiled heartily at Wen Fengjin without losing his respect. He was astonished and flabbergasted when he looked at Wang Xiaomie, who was standing arm in arm with Wen Fengjin.

Soon after, he raised his brows.

Before Wang Xiaomie could say hello, he approached them and said, "Senior Wen, congratulations! Is this Madam Wen? I wasn't expecting to see the day you awoke." His gaze glanced over the two men's linked arms, a hint of envy in his tone.

"Unlike my wife and me, you two are incredibly affectionate. He simply serves to irritate me."

"Shixiong is really considerate to me," Wen Fengjin said with a smile in his eyes, showing off without a trace.

Wang Xiaomie:... Who is considerate? Just this morning, didn't my Iron Fist of Justice guarantee you won't have children?

And Madam? Wang Xiaomie surreptitiously examined the tightly wrapped figure in the young military general's arms and asked, "Uh, is this your wife? Why doesn't she speak?"

"Speak?" The young general grinned, "You were raised by the demon lord’s blood sacrifice, which is why you have such a sound body and consciousness. My wife and I both gradually evolved from ordinary zombies. In the first two hundred years, I also lost my red hair and was done being a 'drought demon[3],' which restored my full consciousness as a human and the ability to move freely. As for my wife, her practice is very slow and she can't speak yet."

He loosened the plain white cloth that was enveloping the person in his arms, displaying needle-like purple hair and shriveled hands with black nails inside, almost making Wang Xiaomie leap up in terror.

Wen Fengjin seamlessly drew him in closer, causing Wang Xiaomie to gulp and settle himself.

The young military general in front of them didn't think his 'wife' was odd in the least. Instead, he held the person in his arms tenderly with one hand while clasping the ghost hand with the other and kissing it.

Wang Xiaomie: ...!

F*ck! Did you have to do that? Are your lips not pricked by the hair? I f*cking believe in true love again!

Wen Fengjin was someone who kept his calm in the face of the unexpected. He pulled the stiff Wang Xiaomie and led the young man to the small low table set up beneath the acacia tree to take a seat.

The hot wine was already simmering on the small table. Under the heat, the wine that had been hidden for many years released its own wine aroma even more strongly. As soon as he sat down, the young military general smelled wine and said, "Good wine!" multiple times.

Despite the fact that there were only three futons and the young general was greedy for the wine, he did not put down the 'wife' in his arms. Wang Xiaomie did not summon Mu Yi or the others as a result.

"Xiaomie." Wen Fengjin suddenly called him.

"What's up?" said Wang Xiaomie, hurriedly sitting up straight.

"I haven't officially introduced you yet," Wen Fengjin remarked with a smile. "This is the friend I mentioned to you. Two hundred years after you and I died, he was the general of the state of Great An. His name is An Kai, and he is accompanied by his wife, An Chengjing."

Wang Xiaomie nodded immediately to An Kai.

"As for my shixiong, you already know him, so I won't introduce him too much," Wen Fengjin remarked to An Kai.

"Madam, I saw you the last time I came here, even if you weren't awake." An Kai sat the person he was guarding between his crossed legs and said, "I'm a military attache. I once told Senior that you and Senior are famous people in history. I've always yearned for feelings like the ones you two share. I didn't expect to see folks I couldn't see when I was living after I died. I'm grateful to Senior Wen for getting to know the two of you."

"...Hehe, you’re flattering us."

Famous figures in history?

Are you sure it's not infamous figures in history? Wang Xiaomie's mouth twitched, recalling the things Wen Fengjin did before and after his death. It seemed odd that Wen Fengjin didn't blow up the emperor's palace.

Wang Xiaomie thought blankly: As for our feelings, what kind of relationship did Wen Fengjin and I have back then?

Oh, it's the kind of melodramatic romance where we abused each other and then I died and Wen Fengjin sacrificed himself for love?

Ha ha.

F*ck you! What exactly was there to yearn for?

No matter how much Wang Xiaomie mocked An Kai in his heart, when confronted with Wen Fengjin's friend, Wang Xiaomie couldn't show the same lack of respect he showed to Wen Fengjin. It was their first meeting, and Wang Xiaomie wanted to behave better in front of Wen Fengjin's friend.

As a result, Wang Xiaomie attempted to sit dignified and smile elegantly.

In truth, gatherings of friends in ancient times were easier than eating and drinking with close friends today.

Even though An Kai was a general, he would never brag about it. Instead, he utilized beautiful rhetoric and poems to discuss business with Boss Wen, and he would occasionally drink wine and discuss popular ditties from back then. Wang Xiaomie was bewildered by their exquisite phrasings.

After a brief conversation about the past, he realized that An Kai was the grandson of Duke Qing. Even if he eventually became a military leader, he was born into an aristocratic family and had naturally received a good education.

Even though he was a zongzi, he was Mr. Perfect among zongzi.

However, wealth and rank were more significant than feelings in ancient times. The parents arranged 90% of the weddings based on the standing of the two families. Wang Xiaomie peered over the 'madam' in An Kai's arms. He didn't expect to find a good man who was so faithful to his wife even after he became a zongzi in such a background environment.

Hadn’t Wen Fengjin also stated that An Kai was similar to him?

Where was the resemblance?

That they were both men?

Wang Xiaomie secretly gave the wild man in his family the middle finger.


Footnotes:

[1] From Kung Fu Panda to anime and manga, there are far too many references for this... I'm not sure which one the author is talking about.

[2] "Bent" is a slang term for "gay/homosexual." WXM claims that WFJ (his c0ck) is so gay that it has already bent into a coil.

[3] He says that for the first two hundred years, he was a drought demon, with red hair all over his body. 

Source: Wikipedia


Translator:

We're 20 chapters away from the ending of the main story~ 

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