February 26, 2021

IDYTRAA - Chapter 47

Chapter 47 Dear, I don't want to go

The next day, Pan Lei went to work with Tian Yuan. Pan Lei considered himself to be quite sensible. He would be in the hospital while Tian Yuan worked. Once he made up his mind, he was willing to die to see it through.

Pan Lei sat in the office with a bunch of fruit snacks while Tian Yuan treated the patient. Tian Yuan had just sent a patient away, so he peeled and chopped an apple into small pieces before bringing it to Tian Yuan's mouth.

Tian Yuan didn't think it was odd either. Because this individual was exceptional, Tian Yuan allowed him to remain at the workplace without evicting him. Pan Lei always chopped the fruit and delivered it to his mouth at home. As a result, Tian Yuan opened his mouth and ate it. Pan Lei quickly took up another piece and placed it in his mouth. Tian Yuan had just taken a bite when the young nurse entered. When she saw Doctor Tian open his mouth and accept food from Pan Lei, her eyes widened.

"Doctor Tian, someone has come to see this patient."

Tian Yuan beckoned for them to enter. Perhaps the visitor was a teammate of Pan Lei's. Tian Yuan was unconcerned. When he opened the door, he realized they were Pan Lei’s friends who had drank with them.

Huang Kai was holding a bouquet of roses in his hand, Zhang Hui was carrying a large food box, and Lin Mu was carrying a bouquet of chrysanthemum flowers in his arms. White flowers and yellow chrysanthemums[1]? It certainly did not resemble a patient's bouquet. Was he in the wrong place? Lin Mu, in fact, should have gone to the cemetery, right?

"You kid[2], lying tired and crooked here, irritating those patients."

Zhang Hui set the food box aside, checked Pan Lei over, and understood there was nothing wrong with him.

"Hey, Lin Mu! Did you get chrysanthemums for a patient? I'm not yet dead."

Lin Mu smiled. "Who knew you’re still alive and kicking?! I thought you were a martyr, and these flowers were meant to be placed in front of your grave."

"Huang Kai is still good to me. You’re a good brother, but roses are not appropriate either."

Pan Lei extended his hand to pick up the bouquet of roses. They were red roses, ninety-nine red roses…

Huang Kai dodged him and handed the roses to Tian Yuan.

"I didn't get anything for you. They were intended for Doctor Tian."

Tian Yuan smiled as he remembered how boisterous these clowns were when they got together.

"You’re people who peep at my person, and dig at my corner[3]! I’m at odds with you!"

Pan Lei pounced on Huang Kai and beat him up. Several mature men were fooling around in the small office. Tian Yuan was crammed onto the table and observed their antics.

"Doctor Tian, I brought a lot of delicious food today. I assumed this kid had lost too much blood and needed to make it up, but he doesn't. You should sample our hotel's signature dish."

Zhang Hui handed them chopsticks, and they sampled the delicious food on the table.

The three persons who were intertwined detected the scent and pounced on the bird's nest. The little dish was delicately layered with three layers of meat and vegetables. It looked so good that folks couldn't stop moving their fingers to try a bite.

Huang Kai snagged a soup dumpling and smacked his lips.

"If only we had wine."

"These are tasty. What else do we have? Zhang Hui, this is from your own restaurant; you can eat it whenever you want. Why are you snatching it with us?" Lin Mu complained with a mouthful of food.

Pan Lei rose and removed the plates. He stuffed two steamed dumplings into Tian Yuan's mouth from the last few steamed dumplings, and Tian Yuan almost choked.

"Come again and bring hot pot next time. I’m craving spicy hot pot."

"Please get additional crab sticks and pork balls." Tian Yuan put in his request.

"Let's meet again in the evening and call Pan Zhan and Pan Ge. We’ll eat hot pot."

Making friends with this group of people was a breeze. They were all like family after sharing a meal. Pan Lei hoped Tian Yuan could become a part of his life, so he introduced him to his friends, hoping that this group of people could help him look after his family while he was on a mission. Everything appeared to be progressing as he had predicted. His friends admired Tian Yuan, and Tian Yuan liked them as well.

Unfortunately, the plan to have hot pot in the hospital did not come to fruition.

It wasn't because the dean demanded that hot pots be prohibited in the ward, but because Pan Lei had another mission.

Pan Lei was still thinking about napping with his arms around his family's wife just after lunch. Who knew the call would come?! He had to return to the army this time. His vacation had come to an end. Special training was required for the soldiers under his command. As captain and squadron leader, he had to keep an eye on that group of people while they trained.

He wasn't gravely hurt, so the army's superior summoned him and rushed him back to the troops. Pan Lei was extremely unwilling and sluggish in putting on clothes.

Tian Yuan was packing for him, knowing that his return to the army would not be a perilous assignment this time, and he was less concerned.

"I don't want to go back. I want to be with you. I want to spend every minute with you." Pan Lei was depressed, powerless, and complained non-stop.

"I used anti-inflammatory medications on you because the wound had become irritated in the previous few days. Don't make any violent motions or rip the wound. Avoid putting pressure on the wound while sleeping. For the first three days, change the bandages once a day, then every other day. On the seventh day, remove the sutures. There must be a military doctor in the barracks, right? Ask him to carefully remove the stitches. Don't imagine that simply removing the stitches will solve your problem. Only when the wound has healed and the scab has fallen off can it be allowed to get wet. By the way, I brought you some waterproof tape; use it when you shower."

Tian Yuan once went to the drugstore and returned with a large number of various items. He packed those things in a bag.

"Avoid certain foods, and don't eat spicy things. Don't consume any alcohol. Look, everything is in this bag. Don’t mess around during training. Take the anti-inflammatory drugs regularly."

"I don't want to return." Pan Lei stated a little loudly. Watching Tian Yuan work, he felt uneasy. Why was he so eager to send him away?

They kissed warmly and affectionately the last time they separated, so why was he conveying his reluctance today?

"Bring a thermometer, just in case. If you have a low-grade fever, you should also prepare some anti-fever medication. Take your temperature as soon as you feel dizzy and weak in your limbs, and if it is higher than 37℃, take anti-fever medication."

Tian Yuan needed to visit the drugstore. Pan Lei snatched his wrist and drew him into his lap. His head sank into Tian Yuan's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him

"We've only just begun to get intimate, I've spent so little time with you, I haven't shown you how nice I can be to you, why should I return to the army? Tian'er, don’t run away, and don't desire any woman… come closer. If someone tries to hook you with you, tell them you have me. I'm jealous, but I'm also serious. If someone dares to beat you, I will imprison him. Any third party who tries to break us up will be imprisoned for three years."

"Don't make trouble! Hurry up and pack your things. The car will arrive shortly."

Tian Yuan was likewise a little reluctant, but while he was troubled, he was no longer sad. He shoved Pan Lei’s head away, thinking to himself, ‘Don’t pester me like a child pesters his mother. It’s so unsightly!’

"I won’t let go of you precisely because the car is arriving. Let me hold you properly for a while for comfort. I have begun to miss you before I even leave."

Pan Lei hugged him tightly and wouldn’t let go. He wanted to caress and rub that body. He needed to get a measurement of that waist. He’d know if Tian’er was fatter or thinner the next time they met. He repeatedly rubbed his head on Tian Yuan’s shoulders and smiled, but he didn't move. He didn't want to leave him, and neither did he want to leave this house. He just wanted to hug his darling and not go.


[1] Because yellow chrysanthemums and white flowers of any kind are commonly used during funerals in China, receiving these flowers is synonymous with death. Lin Mu's gift is thus a social faux pas and a big no-no.

[2] It’s a derogatory word in this context.

[3] Flirting/snatching my lover.


Umm, are people reading this? ๐Ÿ˜” If so, please leave a comment๐Ÿ™‡ I’m new to this. Your feedback will help me understand how I can improve. Thank you!๐Ÿ˜Š

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February 22, 2021

IDYTRAA - Chapter 46

Chapter 46 Don't you love me

Tian Yuan was lost for words. He was a little panicked when Pan Lei suddenly confessed to him in this manner.

"I'll get you a blanket."

Pan Lei grabbed him and wouldn’t let go. Tian Yuan wanted to flee as soon as Pan Lei reached a crucial point. He wasn’t like this jerk, therefore every time something happened, he shrunk his neck. There was blood in the drip tube as soon as Pan Lei pressed his palm, and Tian Yuan was so terrified that he stopped moving instantly.

"You must not do that."

"I’d like to speak with you."

Pan Lei was a little angry. Actually, he wanted to have a little fun.

"Didn't you say you wouldn’t let me feel wronged or hurt? So, how can you make me feel upset?"

"I won't wrong you, but could you utter one good word?"

Pan Lei was irritated, and as he let go of Tian Yuan’s hand, he was on the verge of turning over. Tian Yuan pressed down on him, immobilizing him.

"If you don't like me, just leave me alone."

Pan Lei was angry and didn’t look at him. He turned his neck the other way, as if he were a child with a temper tantrum. Tian Yuan was taken aback. Grabbing his arm, he stroked Pan Lei's skin slowly so that his arm did not become chilly.

To make Pan Lei more comfortable, he placed another cushion under his arm.

Pan Lei turned his head to look at him. When Tian Yuan glanced at him, he hmphed, and turned his head again. It was awkward to the point of death.

"Do you want to sip some water? Do you need to use the restroom? I’ll hold the bottle for you."

"Do you not care about me?"

Tian Yuan touched his nose in embarrassment. Not care? That would be a lie. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be as afraid to hear that Pan Lei was hurt, and he wouldn’t have kept urging him to return safely.

Pan Lei had short hair that was a little spiky to the touch. Tian Yuan had witnessed the strength of Pan Lei’s beard when he rubbed it on his neck - it left small red marks. It was just like Pan Lei - tough, domineering, and unyielding.

"You must pay attention to your safety when you go out on missions in the future. I wanted to tell you for a long time that you must return safely."

"You mentioned it to me three times today."

"Am I being long-winded? Then I won't say anything."

Pan Lei hurriedly turned his head. When did he say he was long-winded? Tian Yuan was speaking a few words of concern; didn’t it imply that he was worried about him?

Tian Yuan didn't look at him and kept touching his hair. The tiny spikes stabbed his palm, making it a little itchy.

"I'm not sure how good your equipment is or whether it can keep you safe. I also know you're physically fit and skilled. However, no matter how well-equipped you are or how skilled you are, the danger is immense. Otherwise, your teammate would not have been involved in an accident. You are your family's lone child. You must consider them and keep safety in mind. Return safely. When you're on the job, don't be reckless. You've been hurt this time, but if you pay closer attention, it won't happen again. You ah, be more cautious in the future; I may annoy you when I bring it up, but remember, you must return safely. You must be protected."

"For my family’s sake? Why don't you worry about yourself? I owe it to you that I return safely."

Pan Lei remained angry.

Tian Yuan carefully drew out the needle for him after seeing that the drip was finished. He then raised his hand to assess the temperature of his arm. It felt a little cold, so he rubbed it repeatedly until his arm recovered to normal body temperature.

"I'm not nagging you. You’re a natural hero, and I can't stop you. Even if you think a bit more carefully and complete duties with greater care in the future, you’ll have a perfect strategy in place. Special forces personnel are also human beings. Do you consider yourself a Superman?"

Tian Yuan examined the back of Pan Lei's hand to ensure there was no bleeding. He was relieved at this point. He couldn't stop nagging him, even if it appeared that his mouth was broken or that he was babbling. He couldn't stop telling him over and over.

Pan Lei remained silent, staring at Tian Yuan, who had wrapped a quilt around him and felt the warmth of his brow.

He then smiled, as if he had realized something.

He was beaming with joy. He reasoned that if Tian’er didn’t like him, he wouldn’t worry about his rage. Moreover, Tian Yuan treated him with care and concern, and no longer quarrelled with him, exactly like a little wife. It felt so lovely to be served from head to toe that his entire body felt at ease. Tian Yuan was very nice to him instead of disregarding him. What did it reveal? It showed that Tian Yuan liked him as well. If he didn’t like him, he would have been dumped on the road a long time ago. How could Tian Yuan be that nice to him?

So he laughed, and laughed very happily, thinking that getting shot was well worth it.

Tian Yuan chastised him and was harsh and awkward, yet he had long admired him. He was certain.

"Why are you laughing? Do you need to use the restroom? Do you still feel dizzy? Do you want me to hold you?"

Pan Lei pretended to be pitiful and nodded. He wanted Tian Yuan to be considerate and caring at this time. That was the typical trend for young couples in love. If it was a headache and brain fever, your partner would be concerned till they were half-dead; if you had a cold, you could ask for warmth. Your partner would wait hand and foot on you while you were sick. That was what he desired as well.

Tian Yuan assisted him in standing up and opening the toilet door.

"Will you be fine? If you don't have the strength, let me support you."

Pan Lei glanced at Tian Yuan’s hand on his arm. I want more.

"Then you help me hold my little brother."

Tian Yuan blushed and slammed the door.

"Follow the toilet all the way down to the sewer."

Why wasn’t Pan Lei serious? He kindly offered his assistance for fear that he would fall, that he would lack the necessary strength. But this rogue was fine; he still planned to tease him.

Pan Lei laughed almost convulsively in the bathroom. ‘Tian’er is wonderful. My family is so great. When he's soft, he'll be an angel, like a fairy sister, tender to the heart and as soothing as water. But he’s totally chili-like and fiery when he gets upset. It’s so fascinating to watch him glare and flush. How can he be so adorable?!'

No matter how long he stared at him, it wasn't enough; no matter how tightly he hugged him, he didn't feel close; and no matter how much love he had, it still didn't feel like enough. Tian Yuan was as vital as air for his survival. Perhaps, more so. Liking him was a way of life. His life revolved around loving him.

Pan Lei wanted to kiss him, hold him, see him happy, learn more about him, share everything with him, give him the nicest things in the world, and give him so much happiness. He only hoped Tian Yuan was happy every day, and seeing him happy brought him the most joy.

‘I want the entire world to know that this is my person. My Tian'er, my baby, my beloved.'


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February 21, 2021

IDYTRAA - Chapter 45

Chapter 45 Do everything possible to sleep in the same room

Tian Yuan began cooking in response to Pan Lei's injuries. He wasn't very adept at cooking. Tian Yuan simply boiled instant noodles and poached two eggs, and dinner was ready. Pan Lei desired something delectable, but Tian Yuan simply rolled his eyes. Pan Lei didn't have a choice but to suffer.

Tian Yuan shut the door before eight o'clock and resolved not to let Pan Lei sleep in his bedroom. Pan Lei returned to the guest room and paced angrily. His darling's coldness was the most vexing. Pan Lei would rather argue and make a scene. Sleeping in separate rooms? Isn't that the greatest curse impacting the growth of a couple's intimacy?

When Pan Lei saw the air conditioner, he smiled. He was a special forces soldier who could operate basic machinery.

Tian Yuan was reading when he heard the knock on the door. He groaned, knowing that Pan Lei must be angry because he let him sleep in the guest room.


"The air conditioner is broken, Tian'er. It's no longer functional. Let me sleep on your bed."

Tian Yuan remained still.

"The temperature is low these days. It will not become hot even if the air conditioner is off. Return to your bed!"

Pan Lei dragged his feet back to the guest room, glared at the damaged air conditioner with a look of indignation on his face, and kicked the bed's leg, causing the bed to break in half. He immediately went to knock on Tian Yuan's door once more.

"Tian'er, the bed gave way. It collapsed as soon as I got up. Where am I going to sleep? I think you should let me sleep with you."

Tian Yuan hurled the book he was holding at the door.

"Sleep on the couch!"

Tian Yuan's patience had run out because he was enraged. He couldn't let up even for a while, could he? Pan Lei even damaged the bed in order to sleep with him.

"Pan Lei, listen up! If you dare to destroy anything in my house, you're not welcome. What exactly are you doing? Do you want to demolish the house?!"

"It's fine. My house is still unoccupied; let's go there. It’s the same thing."

Tian Yuan grabbed the ashtray from the bedside cabinet and hurled it against the door. Pan Lei laughed as he heard a loud noise. Tian Yuan was finally enraged. If he wasn't allowed to sleep with him, he would drive him crazy enough to throw things, make him uncomfortable, and have Tian Yuan greet him at the door.

Pan Lei intently listened, but there was no sound inside. This type of Tian Yuan was uninteresting. He should hurry and have a major quarrel with him, and use the opportunity to jump inside the bedroom and never come out again, even if he was being killed.

But, with no activity on Tian Yuan's side, what should he do? Was he going to be wronged and sleep on the couch? No, no matter how nice the sofa was, it was no match for Tian Yuan's enormous bed. Pan Lei swiftly devised a ruse.

He landed on the floor with a thud, holding his brow.

Tian Yuan was taken aback when he heard Pan Lei's agonizing cries. He wanted to see what was wrong with Pan Lei, but then he realized it had to be him acting pitiful. He came to a halt and sat on the bed, listening to the sounds outside.

Pan Lei remained silent and listened with his ears pricked. Not assisting him, hmm? See, the one inside will rush out in less than five minutes. He was well-versed in criminal psychology. The criminal would be more interested in him if he was quieter. It was superior to his tenacity.

Pan Lei calmly counted in his heart, one minute, two minutes… and then the bedroom door slammed open. Pan Lei hurriedly closed his eyes.

When Tian Yuan opened the door, he saw him unmoving on the ground. He dashed over, touched his brow, and yanked on his wrist to check his pulse.

"Is it uncomfortable? Where does it hurt?"

"I'm dizzy and my body is weak. I won't be able to return to the guest bedroom." Pan Lei acted pitiful.

Tian Yuan swiftly put his hand on Pan Lei's shoulder and supported him. Pan Lei's stature and size caused him to pant. Tian Yuan gritted his teeth, ushered him into the bedroom, and dashed out to collect the first aid kit.

Pan Lei sighed inwardly, wasn't this also coming in? Tian Yuan could be coaxed but not coerced, therefore acting pathetic was the most effective magical weapon.

Tian Yuan returned and placed the thermometer under his arm. Pan Lei frightened Tian Yuan by claiming to be ill.

"37.5℃ is a low-grade fever. You’re fine. Your wound is inflamed, so I’ll simply hang a bottle of drip."

Tian Yuan examined the wound, which was red and swollen in the surrounding area. At first sight, it appeared to be a low-grade fever due to inflammation. Tian Yuan exhaled a sigh of relief. He swiftly administered anti-inflammatory medication, secured his wrist, tapped to reveal the blood vessels, and inserted the IV needle.

His actions were quick. It was apparent he was a very skilled physician. Pan Lei was certain about it.

Pan Lei remained obediently lying on his bed, not tossing and turning. Tian Yuan sighed and wrapped a quilt around his arm. By the time 500 ml of IV fluid had entered his bloodstream, his arm had begun to cool.

Pan Lei moved his fingers and took Tian Yuan's hand in his.

"Don't make trouble. Keep an eye on the needle to ensure it doesn’t move. If you get dizzy, close your eyes. I'll be right here with you."

Tian Yuan had stopped talking. He was no longer furious with him. Pan Lei didn't cause any trouble, but refused to let go of the hand he had gripped. Tian Yuan placed Pan Lei’s hand between his own and patted the back of his hand with one hand.

It was a rare occasion when they had such a tender moment. Whenever they met, they bickered, with Pan Lei attempting to tease him. There were far too few peaceful scenarios with them holding hands and staring at each other.

All of the laughter and curses died away, blending with the silence in the air to form a slightly fluttering love that encircled the two of them.

Tian Yuan looked at the titration rate and noticed Pan Lei staring at him without blinking. Tian Yuan unintentionally grinned and adjusted the quilt.

"Taking a look at what I do? If you're feeling dizzy, go to bed."

"Tian'er, my feelings for you are sincere. I genuinely like and adore you. My entire family, even my army comrades, know I like you. Please don't push me away. Although we are unable to be together legally, there are some alternatives. This, however, will not make me love you any less. If you are concerned about rumors and people's scorn because you are with me, I will assist you in resisting everything. I will not cause you pain, and I will not allow anyone to harm you. Because we love differently than most people, I will love you twice as much and will not cause you any hurt or grievance. I will use my love to make you happy for the rest of your life."

He succeeded by clinging to Tian Yuan. That was his first affirmative admission. It was because he loved him in a unique way. Pan Lei loved him more than anyone else, and he wanted to make him happy more than anybody else. Even if they were compared, Tian Yuan was the one he adored the most.

Some people are born with the need to be loved and cared for in every manner.

He hoped Tian Yuan would be haughty and dictatorial. Under his pampering, he could become arrogant and even unreasonable. He desired for Tian Yuan to be the happiest person on the planet, with no pain, grievance, or frown. He wished to provide Tian Yuan with a flawless existence, and he wanted to spoil Tian Yuan with his affection.

He had this ability, and he wanted this privilege.

Pleasing those he loved was the greatest joy for every man.


Hi. This is my first translation attempt. Please be encouraging and provide comments. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

This novel appears to have been dropped. I waited and waited before attempting to translate myself. Here we go...