IDYTRAA - Chapter 228

Chapter 228 I won’t marry you if you lose money at mahjong

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Could he fall asleep? When Pan Lei got home on such an important day, Mama Dang Hong poured a bottle of vinegar into him, the sourness quickly sobering him up. The elderly had already begun to play mahjong. The entire military compound was in a frenzy, no matter how many individuals showed there. They hadn't heard such important news in ages. For a long time, no one in this bunch of monkey cubs married. Finally, one of them was getting married, and in such a magnificent fashion. They all arrived to congratulate the Pans and then stayed to play mahjong.

Every room was full of people, and when you stood outside a room, you could hear the frantic sound of mahjong coming from inside.

The trio were one person short, so they just played "Fight the Landlord."

Pan Lei checked the time every half an hour. When he checked the time again, he realized he'd lost a thousand dollars. No way, if he kept losing like this, their red envelopes would get smaller.

He took out his phone and dialed Tian Yuan's number. Tian Yuan's side was noticeably quieter. He had just gotten out of the shower and was about to fall asleep when he heard snoring coming from the living room. This WoMan, Pan Yue, was a real man. Her snoring was louder than a man's and was fast approaching train whistles.

Tian Yuan couldn't sleep and kept turning over. He beamed as he imagined himself celebrating the wedding anniversary with Pan Lei every year until the silver anniversary, and eventually the golden anniversary. Even though they were both old men, he still made Pan Lei carry him on his back. He guessed he couldn't sleep that night because he was far too happy and excited.

I don't know if he has sobered up. There are a lot of people on his side. The whole family has gathered, and it must be quite noisy. He must be unable to sleep. I wonder what he is doing.

Pan Lei called just as he was thinking about it.

"Honey , I've been robbing my whole life, and someone robbed me today."

Tian Yuan controlled his laughter. Pan Lei was extremely aggrieved and reported to him. How could these two a$$holes team up to beat him?

"Did Grandpa and Grandma rob you?"

"Nah, it’s the two ba$tards, Zhang Hui and Lin Mu. They won a thousand dollars from me. That’s half of your money for getting a driver’s license."

"Hey, how can you say that? Don’t you know the phrase "Proud in love, frustrated in a casino"? It sounds reasonable. You are about to get married, we are two bachelors. Aren’t we allowed to win money for drinks?!"

Lin Mu was super pleased with himself. He won money!

"Did you hear that, Tian'er? Lin Mu won money and is flaunting. Come here. Let's band together and win the money back."

"Pan Lei, if you don't win back the $1000 today, I won't pick you up tomorrow."

"Roger!"

Tian Yuan hung up the phone, and what Pan Lei wanted was precisely this order. The money must be won back in order for the wedding to go smoothly tomorrow.

Pan Lei appeared to have been injected with chicken blood (stimulant). Pan Lei demonstrated his battling spirit after the phone call. He went all out and fought them. At five o'clock in the morning, the elders in each room finally quieted down and proceeded to wash, eat breakfast, and prepare.

Pan Lei calculated several times. He lost $1000, won $800, and surreptitiously made up the difference of $200. So, when he handed over the money to his family's boss tonight, he would inform the chief that he had won the $1000 back. He would ask for a reward.

So simple, hehe.

Lin Mu and Zhang Hui had each returned to their respective houses. Their residences were only three or four minutes away on foot. They showered, changed, and tidied up into handsome men before returning to be the best men.

Pan Lei began to dial his partner's number. He was scared Tian Yuan might oversleep at home. On such a crucial day, he couldn't afford to be the tiniest bit sloppy. Even on his first day on the battlefield, he wasn't nervous. But he was nervous now, afraid Tian Yuan wouldn't be able to get up, afraid there would be traffic jams on the road, and afraid something unexpected would happen. Could he have contracted marriage phobia?

It should be anxiety disorder, the worrying about nothing type.

"Tian'er, baby, are you awake?"

"Mn."

Tian Yuan was still in a stupor and hadn't awoken. He had a hard time falling asleep yesterday and was still sleepy. The phone call had woken him up.

"Baby, get up. Go wash your face and change your clothes. I'm ready and worried you won't come to marry me."

"Okay."

Tian Yuan rolled over and continued to sleep after hanging up the phone. It was still early. He only needed to be there before nine o'clock, so getting out of bed at seven was OK. It wasn't that far anyway. It was fine to sleep a little longer, right? Right. Don't disturb him.

Pan Lei hummed a ditty while shaving, looked left and right in the mirror, and then touched his inch-long hair.

"Cool! You’re the most handsome today."

Then he sipped soy milk while continuing to hum the ditty. He wanted to pad his stomach before drinking around midday, as he predicted. Zhang Hui and Lin Mu were dressed more nicely than the groom, and Lin Mu's chest pocket was adorned with a rose.

Lin Mu approached Pan Lei while they were drinking soy milk together. He could hear the chap humming, but not what he was humming. He almost spit up the soy milk in his mouth as he came closer, ruining his new clothes.

Pan Lei was humming: today I will marry you, today I will marry you, and next year you will be a father…

Can you be a little more reserved? Could he stop beaming and being so elated while humming I'll marry you today? Don’t you want any face? How can you be so shameless?

"Shut up and eat! We will not block the wine if you sing this song."

Pan Lei was unfazed about Lin Mu's threat.

"I've already made arrangements. All of the wine we drink will be water. Hehehe, what a cool trick, right? We’ll need to use the restroom, but we won’t become drunk. Also…"

Pan Lei snatched the rose from Lin Mu’s jacket pocket.

"What do you mean by dressing so handsomely? Do you want to compete against me? Let me inform you two that it's my wedding, and none of you can steal the limelight from me. Get out of the way and don't let anyone exclaim, "Oh, the best man is more handsome than the two grooms!""

He then placed the rose in his own jacket pocket. He'll wait for Tian Yuan and present him with this flower. He was getting married at long last. He finally had a ring and a rose, and could get married^[1].

Hey, wait a minute. Did his husband wake up? It was already six o'clock.

"Baby, you must’ve changed your clothes, right? I’ll urge Huang Kai to take the car to pick you up as soon as possible, and then you can pick me up."

"Eh? Yeah, good."

Tian Yuan still sounded groggy which meant he hadn't woken up yet!

"You're still sleeping; get up quickly, get up. You can sleep soundly tonight. Oh baby, I can't wait. I'm ready and waiting for you."

"Okay, okay, I'll get up now."

"Tian Yuan, he's fooling you. He said, "sleep soundly tonight," but that's impossible! Won't he harass you on your wedding night until you have a sore waist and back and only then think he has loved you enough? Go to sleep, go to sleep, it's fine to oversleep a bit."

Lin Mu played dirty tricks and continued yelling into the phone.

"That’s good."

Someone told him to keep sleeping, so he must keep sleeping.

"Hey! No, baby, don't listen to them. This is the most crucial day of a couple's life. Don't sleep; get up quickly. Ancestor, please get up."

"Stop being noisy. If you keep being noisy, I won't marry you!"

Tian Yuan roared and then hung up the phone.

Pan Lei was almost in tears. "The anxious wind hits the slow doctor^[2]" indeed. He was going insane with anxiety, but his husband was still lazing in bed.

"Look, your man said he won't marry you. He said the same thing yesterday when you drank too much. He also stated that if you did not win the $1000, he would not marry you. He has made up his mind not to marry you anymore, so go ahead and cry."

Lin Mu displayed the video he captured yesterday, where Pan Lei was intoxicated and brazenly refused to leave, and Tian Yuan was upset at him, in schadenfreude.

Pan Lei brandished his fists. If it were not for being concerned that Lin Mu was his best man and he needed him to block the drinks, he would truly have beat him up.

No, this was simply not feasible. Tian Yuan had better be ready or they would miss the auspicious hour.

Pan Lei dialed Huang Kai's phone number. Huang Kai was likewise asleep in a daze. F*ck, none of these ba$tards are reliable! They were so careless and didn't take his affairs seriously because it wasn’t their wedding, right?

"Huang Kai, you deserve a beating, don't you! Get up this instant! Laozi is getting married and is waiting for the wedding car. If you don't leave now, laozi will have to hold the wedding in the afternoon. Who knows if there’s a traffic jam; don’t you know how horrible it gets! It takes an hour or two to resolve. When you get married someday, I'm messing up your wedding!"

"I know, I know."

Huang Kai was confused and perfunctory. The phone was then picked up by someone else.

"Don't worry, I've instructed the traffic control team to reroute traffic ahead of time. The road we take has traffic police to keep the traffic flowing smoothly. We’ll arrive at Tian Yuan’s place at eight o'clock, and then pick you up. You guys will arrive at the hotel before ten. Everything will be on time."

Pan Lei gazed at his phone screen. He'd called Huang Kai. Why was he hearing Second Brother's voice?

"I'm in a hurry. Get up! I'm getting married today."

"There’s still time. He’ll be up soon."

He heard his second brother remark just before Pan Lei hung up the phone.

"Still sore? Sleep a little longer."

Pan Lei felt as though he had been struck by lightning. When did his second brother have such a soft voice? Was he possessed by something?

The phone call was then terminated.

Dang Hong, dressed in a brilliant red cheongsam, entered the room to present Pan Lei with a corsage with the groom's name tag^[3].

This drew his attention away from the jumbled ideas racing through his mind.

Pan Lei was dressed formally. A black suit and a white silk shirt.

He dressed heroically in military clothing. Whether it was field dress, camouflage outfit, or uniform dress, he could interpret all the characteristics of a soldier. He was a natural soldier. Resolute, ramrod straight, and unyielding. But when he put on a suit, he was also rather attractive. A hunk.

It was a given. He'd fastened only one button. Without a king's commanding aura, but with a little of toughness added, and this kind of strength was wrapped in a suit, giving him a particularly formidable feeling.

Was the man handsome? Check out the crew cut. Men with crew cuts are the most handsome. He'd just put on a suit jacket with a rose pinned in the pocket, which could tempt any number of women.

Miss Wang, from Political Commissar Wang's residence, peered at Pan Lei through the door, till her eyes grew red, and then she rushed away.

Zhang Hui whistled. This guy’s really a hunk. He’s so f*cking handsome.

But this handsome fella simply didn’t have time to worry about all this. He was busy calling.

"Baby, are you awake?"

"I’m up, I’m up."

There was a gargling sound.

"I'm getting ready."

Tian Yuan was quite helpless. No girl has ever been so eager to get into a marriage sedan since ancient times. Why was this rough and tough wifey of his so anxious?

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Footnotes:

[1] I don't remember which chapter it was, but this alludes to PL's first proposal after the fight. He knelt and apologized to TY in this chapter.

[2] A metaphor for someone hunting for something urgent but encountering a slow-witted person.

[3] Something like this:

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Translator:

Wanted to finish IDYTRAA this year,

To bring you some holiday cheer,

Was as busy as a bee,

On a translation spree,

Then saw many extras to go,

And cried "Oh no!"

So, see you in ‘23,

With extras 8+33. (edited)

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IDYTRAA - Chapter 227

Chapter 227 I won’t marry you if you don’t go home

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Mama Dang Hong interrupted their intention to make an all-night fuss with a phone call about twelve o'clock. "Bring your a$$ back home! Return now. Lin Mu, Huang Kai, and Zhang Hui, you three little brats will also accompany him home. We need to set up Leizi's marriage bed today and need a virgin man."

The day before the bridegroom's wedding, a virgin boy is invited to press on the top of a heated bed, which implies that a fat boy will be born in the following year, which is auspicious, according to customs and practices handed down through the ages.

Mama Dang Hong's phone call had everyone in stitches. Aside from the reality that two adult guys like them couldn't have a child, who was this virgin lad she mentioned? No one wanted to lose face or be noticed, therefore who dared to stand up and declare himself a virgin?

Huang Kai scratched his nose.

"I'm afraid I'm not qualified for it. I'll go home and sleep today, then take the motor fleet to Tian Yuan's residence tomorrow."

Pan Ge sipped a glass of wine.

"Come back with me today, Huang Kai. You are in charge of the wedding car crew. You drank a lot tonight. I'm worried you won't get up tomorrow, delaying important business, so let's go. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui, send Leizi back. Call tomorrow."

"I'm not going either. Virgin male? Bah, who’d be a virgin at this age. I long for the days when I was studying overseas. Foreign chicks were continuously following me around. I gave up my virginity a long time ago."

"Don’t tell me I am suitable." Nobody wanted to lose face. They were thirty years old, and remaining a virgin was absurd.

"I am, but I’m not going. I want to be on top of the heated bed for Tian Yuan. I told him I’d be his bridesmaid. Damn it! Laoniang has been abstinent for almost 30 years. So f*cking embarrassing. Tian Yuan, go home with Big Sis. Today, Big Sis will sleep with you in her arms and place you on top of the heated bed."

"The unmarried are all virgins, according to old customs. Move! Third Aunt gave an order over the phone, and no one dares to ditch. Let's get started. We'll just play mahjong until dawn at home, so let's go."

Pan Lei pushed Pan Yue away. He had a little too much to drink today, so he was irritated when he looked at Pan Yue. Pan Yue had stuck to Tian Yuan throughout, making him unhappy.

"I'll accompany you home, baby. I'm not interested in them; I'm interested in you. Let's go to bed and save ourselves some trouble tomorrow. We will go to the ceremony at the hotel together."

Pan Zhan stepped forward to separate the couple, one on each side, and shoved Pan Lei to Lin Mu and the others, while tossing Tian Yuan to Pan Yue.

"They each return to their respective homes. Tomorrow, you'll be together forever. Follow the instructions and get home as soon as possible."

"Go back with Big Sis, handsome. Big Sis will make your night unforgettable."

Pan Yue helped Tian Yuan up, wiped his face, and assisted Tian Yuan out, smiling like a pervert.

Pan Ge snuck Huang Kai into his car, waved his hand, and they were the first to go.

Pan Lei had consumed too much alcohol, and when he saw Pan Yue groping his sweetheart, he raced up with a cry and desperately tugged on the car door to keep them from leaving.

"Witch, where are you taking my husband? He's mine. You're kidnapping my man. Who am I going to marry? Let him go."

This good-for-nothing! The rest of the guys turned their necks away, indicating that this inebriated man had nothing to do with them.

"Stop it! Wait for me at home. I will marry you home tomorrow."

Tian Yuan also drank a lot, but at least he didn't stumble from drunkenness.

"No, let's go home together today. F*ck these feudal traditions, it's all so f*cking pedantic. I want to sleep with you. This female pervert will eat you if I don't sleep with you today."

He forcefully opened the car door, climbed in, hugged and kissed Tian Yuan, nestled against him, and smiled foolishly.

"I don't want to be apart from you for even a second."

"F*ck off! Just take a look at yourself. Go find your mother if you want to be clingy. You’re so sticky, I’m going to kick you to death!"

Pan Yue slammed the steering wheel furiously.

"You two will also follow me home. Both of their mothers have constantly ordered us that Leizi is not allowed to sleep at home today and must return to the military compound. He's just drunk and bothering everyone. After a while, he will fall asleep, and you will carry him away."

"Whoever knows this couple will not live in peace."

What choice did they have? Mama Dang Hong’s command had to be obeyed. Did they dare to ignore her? Pan Lei started twisting around again. The only way was to drive behind their car.

Pan Yue, the WoMan, drove the car like it was a race car. Lin Mu, the man who dealt with corpses all day, broke out in a cold sweat, and Zhang Hui also sobered up, wishing to pull Pan Yue over, slap her a few times, and throw her into the trunk. This WoMan was too damn tough.

Pan Lei threw his arms around Tian Yuan, called him baby, and kissed him loudly. "Baby, one kiss, one bite," he said. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Tian Yuan had no choice but to implore him to stop and not cause trouble, but Pan Lei ignored him. He kissed and hugged him nonstop until he hauled him onto his lap, where the face-to-face kissing got increasingly intense.

Tian Yuan had no option but to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him, and the two of them became sticky as a result of the kiss. They'd drank too much at the time, and no one could stand such a kiss.

Pan Yue could see Tian Yuan's clothes being lifted in the rearview mirror.

"F*ck me! You two restrain yourselves a bit. You’re in a car. Laoniang is still an unmarried maiden!"

His grandma! Could they not be so hungry and thirsty? Think about the driver, please. This was not a Rolls-Royce extended model, so there was no partition in the middle. The sound of their kisses stimulated people, and were they thinking of car sex? Can you let people live?

Pan Lei kissed Tian Yuan's collarbone.

"You, get out of the car for me. Make room."

Pan Yue grabbed a bottle of water and flung it towards Pan Lei.

"Your grandma! Please restrain yourself. Drink this bottle of water and cool down. Don't play hooligan all the time."

Pan Lei was seriously drunk. He considered it after hearing Pan Yue's roaring.

"My paternal grandma is your maternal grandma."

Tian Yuan burst out laughing. Listening to these two brainless individuals's conversation could make anybody laugh to death. He bit Pan Lei's lips.

"Leizi, be obedient. Stop messing around. Don't pass out from dizziness. Come on, lean on me and take a nap. Tomorrow will be a hectic day for us."

"I want to hold you to sleep."

Pan Lei hugged him and acted coquettishly.

Tian Yuan cradled his large head in his arms, while Pan Lei rubbed against his chest, entranced by his eyes.

"Holding the warm, sweet beauty fills my heart with joy."

Tian Yuan pinched his cheek. You a$$hole, you’re flirting with me even when you’re drunk.

They had a difficult time returning home. Pan Lei clutched Tian Yuan hard and refused to let him go, one inside and one outside the door, divided by the door frame. Pan Yue had had enough of them and went to her room to take a shower first. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui were concerned that Pan Lei would fall down the stairs after drinking too much, so they tried to persuade him.

"You're coming with me."

"You'll get together tomorrow. Come home with us instead of causing trouble."

"No, I'm not leaving."

Zhang Hui lit a cigarette, while Lin Mu merely filmed with his phone. He was curious about their farce and how long they would play for. It had been two hours since they finished drinking, and they’d play mahjong for a while after they got home. It was nearly daybreak, and he was still grumbling over their brief separation.

Tian Yuan blocked Pan Lei's path and refused to let him enter.

"Go home, don't make trouble. I’ll pick you up before nine o'clock, okay?"

"Then let me kiss you."

Tian Yuan let him have a taste. Pan Lei still didn't leave, clinging to him.

"Why can’t I stay with you today..."

Tian Yuan was pissed off. You ba$tard, I’ve coaxed you endlessly, yet you’re still unsatisfied. He stomped on Pan Lei's leg. Mother Tian was flustered. When she noticed her kid, who was speaking softly at the time, suddenly began using force, she quickly stopped it. How can he beat someone; this is domestic violence!

"Beat it right now for laozi! Get lost this instant! Keep babbling, and I won't marry you tomorrow. I'll marry Pan Yue."

"Yeah, yeah."

Pan Yue was not scared of such petty concerns, and nodded quickly from the sofa.

"I'm going, I'm going. Baby, promise me you'll drive over to marry me."

"You leave right now, and I'll marry you tomorrow."

This idiot deserves to be beaten. A dog requires a firm hand. He coaxed him, but he was disobedient; nonetheless, once he beat him up, he was immediately honest.

"Then you must promise me that we will travel to Canada to obtain a marriage certificate."

"Fine."

"Then kiss me goodbye and I'll be gone. Don't miss me too much."

Tian Yuan kicked the anti-theft door and glared at Pan Lei. Pan Lei regained 50% of his wits and escaped downstairs. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui were unable to move because they were laughing so hard. They have never seen anything like that. Pan Lei had to be pretending to be dumb by taking advantage of his inebriation to act coquettishly and shamelessly. He intended to take advantage of the situation and asked Tian Yuan to look after him. Coax him to satisfy his little boy heart.

No matter how old a guy gets, he still has a child in his heart who wishes to be coaxed.

You will act stupid if you drink too much. Isn't this ripe for a thrashing?

"You have to marry me tomorrow, baby. Don't keep me waiting too long. Nine o'clock is too late. You bring your car there at six o'clock."

Pan Lei was still talking pitifully around the corner.

"Get out! I'm not going to marry you tomorrow; just wait and see."

He slammed the anti-theft door shut, as if enraged.

"This moron wishes to be kicked to death. With only a little wine, he can go on and on. Clingy as hell. I'm not going to let him drink the next time."

"You kicked him out for good. Marry this Big Sis."

Pan Yue mocked the babies while picturing a grand wedding escape. With so many people, it would be quite the spectacle if one of the pair ran away and eloped.

"There isn't a single good thing in the Pan family."

"What are you saying, Tian Yuan? How can you talk about people in such a way? You're bad mouthing an entire family. Are you worthy of your mother-in-law? She has cultivated you wholeheartedly."

Mother Tian disapproved of her son's present aggressive demeanor. When did he learn this punk attitude?

"Auntie, he's right. Our Pan family only produces bandits, never decent people."

Tian Yuan was rendered speechless. The Pans had brainwashed his mother. Mom, you should consider the views of the genuine Pan family. They all say that the Pan family breeds bandits, and this is completely accurate.

"Oh my god, mom, please go to bed. We must be ready by seven o'clock. Big Sis, you are not allowed to enter my room today. Please sleep on the couch. I have a headache. I need to get some sleep before we discuss anything."

---

Translator:

PL is so shameless😆

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IDYTRAA - Chapter 226

Chapter 226 You’re the gift I’ve been waiting for for half my life

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Say goodbye to being single - everyone loathed the name given by Huang Kai. Goodbye, my a$$. Pan Lei and Tian Yuan had been a stable couple for a long time, and they didn't merely discuss platonic love before marriage. That was Plato. They were just regular men who had made love countless times. So calling them "single" was absurd!

It was fine to toast it, though.

The party did not meet at Zhang Hui's place because the wedding was to be held there the next day. They gathered at the high-end club Huang Kai had opened, the type with one-stop service.

Eat first, then take a bath and massage, followed by karaoke and a drinking contest in the king-sized private room.

Huang Kai The Stupid had prepared a party popper, and when he saw the two of them enter the private room, he pulled the string, and small strips of colored paper filled the room with a bang.

"You’re late! Drink three in a row!"

The beer bottles were not very large. Pan Lei consumed six bottles in one go, drinking on behalf of his husband.

"Tell us how you feel about ending your single life."

Lin Mu placed the microphone in front of Pan Lei's mouth.

Pan Lei smiled as he grasped Tian Yuan's hand in his.

"Congratulations on winning the battle! Total success!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Yes, the battle had been won, and the lover had been embraced. They will now live happily ever after in a sweet and intimate manner.

"Look at this smug ba$tard! Well, what are you waiting for? Drink up! Make him drunk today, and laoniang will dress up and directly replace him, squeezing him out of the groom’s position tomorrow. Tian Yuan will be my man!"

Pan Yue was still daydreaming about her grandiose impractical fantasy, so Pan Lei shoved a bottle of liquor into her hand.

"Drink a bunch and go pipe dream."

Lin Mu clinked a glass of wine with Tian Yuan.

"Congratulations on getting married. It is said that every married person will receive special treatment at the hospital, and you will be able to enjoy additional holidays on Valentine's Day and the like. Your mother-in-law has really created opportunities for you, huh. Your paper also passed and has been published in the medical journal. A new pillar has been added to our thoracic surgery department. Cheers on your overall triumph!"

"Cheers! Anyone who returns home sober today will not find his better half this year! Drink, drink, drink!"

Huang Kai made a fuss and demanded that everyone drink, claiming that he had arranged for numerous crates of beer. So, drink up!

Bottoms up if you want to find your better half this year and have a sweet love! Drink until you puke blood!

Pan Yue deserved to be referred to as the boss. The most troublesome younger brother was also getting married. His two older brothers no longer had to be concerned about him all day. Here’s to you, the lovely Tian Yuan! Congratulations on receiving the baton and taking command of Pan Lei, who has been a tyrant from childhood.

"I'm giving him over to you, Tian Yuan. You must both have a wonderful life. If he tries to bully you, Eldest Brother and Second Brother will punish him!"

Tian Yuan chuckled and drank.

"He doesn’t stir up trouble anymore. His military rank has now been raised, and I no longer have to worry about his safety all day. This is our best wedding present. He is now the commando chief, therefore he no longer has to go on missions and will no longer cause any confusion. I am quite pleased."

"Hey, this means that you don’t need the wedding gift I’m intending to give you. You said you were going to Canada, didn't you? Fine! I'm not going to give you any plane tickets or anything like that."

Pan Ge rarely played tricks on Tian Yuan.

"We will all be family in the future, Second Brother. Won't you mind if we husbands don't have the red book? I'm going to inform my mother-in-law of this. Why is my dear Second Brother being so stingy? Is it because Pan Lei is his little brother and I'm an outsider that a high-ranking and powerful man is so stingy? Your Pan family is not very thorough."

Pan Ge burst out laughing. This Tian Yuan had always been obedient, but after spending so much time with Pan Lei, he had totally acquired bandit tendencies and had learnt to plunder.

"I’ll give! If I don't give it, I won't earn a good reputation. I'll have a miserable year if Third Aunt learns I'm stingy and didn't sponsor your trip."

In that regard, the couple was the poorest, but their brothers had money to pay. They had to get red envelopes as they were getting married.

"Say 'Eldest Brother is the best.' I'll give you one thousand dollars each time you say it."

Tian Yuan grinned and quickly cooked a little scheme. Pan Zhan was loaded. He'd be insulting Pan Zhan's title as the richest man if he didn't make him bleed money today.

"Eldest Brother is the best."

Pan Zhan nodded and extended his finger to represent a thousand.

Tian Yuan took out his phone and looped a recording. The room was filled with nonstop "Eldest Brother is the best, Eldest Brother is the best, ..."

Pan Zhan was dumbfounded. Pan Lei pulled a credit card from Pan Zhan's wallet and tossed it to Tian Yuan.

"Many thanks, Eldest Brother, for your generosity."

They were a pair that joined forces to rob, and the Pan brothers were their target. Where had their good doctor Tian Yuan vanished? Where was the Tian Yuan who babbled after drinking too much? Why did he end up as a bandit?

"Great! This money will be used to buy gifts for our trip to Canada. Don't worry, we'll bring you delicious Canadian food."

The couple triumphantly smiled. The burglary was a success!

Pan Yue was honest, pulling a diamond the size of a small fingernail from her pocket. It dazzled in a brocade box.

"Tian Yuan, why don't you let this older sister give you a kiss, a deep French kiss, and I’ll give you this?"

Tian Yuan started looking for Pan Lei's phone. He was certain he had the phone number for the deputy instructor.

"I'll contact the deputy instructor on your behalf. He's a man of great strength. I'll give you the money if you get a hotel room tonight. You can not only have a deep French kiss, but also roll the sheets. You only need to give me the diamond."

Huang Kai laughed heartily.

"F*ck me! Isn’t Tian Yuan highly educated? How can a cultured person like him talk dirty?"

"I've spent a long time with a band of bandits, and I've learned everything."

"Hey, hey, hey! He's berating us, pals. Why are you all staring dazedly? Punish him!"

Everyone hurried over when Lin Mu gave the order, forcing him to down one bottle after another.

"Hey, don't make him drunk! He won't be able to marry me if he can't wake up. I'll drink, I'll drink, don't force him!"

Pan Lei had no way of stopping them. Tonight was the night to get the two of them to drink. Nobody knows how much they drank. As soon as they emptied one bottle, another was ready for them.

Lin Mu's eyes twinkled and he said, "Bái tóu xié lǎo^[1]." Drink a bottle for this blessing.

"Ēn ài bái tóu,^[2]" wished Zhang Hui, laughing. Another bottle emptied.

Huang Kai, the jester, thought of "zǎo shēng guì zǐ^[3]."

Bah, get the hell outta here! Laozi’s son is the hubby in my family in this life. Whether lover or son, I only want him.

"Go envy, go hate, laozi is getting married. Laozi is taken; laozi’s lover is the best in the world. He supports me, he loves me, he wants to live and die with me. I shall continue to love him in my next life because this life isn't long enough. Baby, open your mouth and show them how loving we are."

Needless to say, Pan Lei's kissing fish problem had resurfaced, which meant he'd drank too much once more.

"There are so many people here; please be a little more restrained."

"No! Kiss me, kiss me, I'm going home today and won't be able to hug you yet. Please wait for me. Tomorrow night will be our wedding festivities. I want to strip you nude, take your clothes off with my mouth, kiss your chest,,,"

Pan Lei had consumed too much alcohol and was spouting nonsense.

Tian Yuan grabbed his shoulders and kissed him to silence him. You can talk about anything, a$$hole. Is our wedding night something you discuss openly?

Pan Lei wrapped his arms around his waist and passionately kissed him. "Ohhhhh, kiss, kiss!" cried Huang Kai, Lin Mu, and Zhang Hui as they knocked on the table.

"Let's get them both drunk tomorrow and listen to the wall."

Pan Yue's eyes sparkled. She'd simply refuse to leave the next day and eavesdrop. She'd make her bed on the living room floor, and then, hehehe.

"Wench, you're this old and so dumb. Keep an eye out for the duo's retaliation against you. Go to the military compound tomorrow. Everyone is expecting you."

Pan Zhan had a lot of challenges as the eldest brother. Why else would the adage "An elder brother is like a father" exist? Someone was finally in charge of Pan Lei, but Pan Yue remained a source of worry.

"I’m not going. I'm Tian Yuan's bridesmaid. I'll be there for him tomorrow. We agreed that I would represent his side of the family. I want to stand up and cheer for him so that he is not put at a disadvantage."

"Hey! They’re getting married, not getting in a gang fight."

Tian Yuan's face was heated after a hot kiss. He'd never made a PDA in front of so many people before.

Pan Yue hatched a devious plan and handed Pan Lei a bottle of wine.

"Leizi, you use your mouth to express your sentiments to him. You must kiss him there. From the top to the bottom, or from front to rear."

Tian Yuan bared his teeth at her. This woman couldn’t be called a woman. She was practically a man, a WoMan.

"I can't wait to see how the assistant instructor handles you tomorrow."

"Sing, sing, you've got to have some fun today."

Huang Kai handed a microphone to Pan Lei. They had already been let down by Tian Yuan. They couldn't expect a man capable of kidnapping the band to sing.^[4]

Pan Lei saw that a love song, Victor Wong's "Unopened Gift^[5]," was now playing.

I’m not sure that I can listen to love songs and not cry,

Even though I once promised that I wouldn’t be touched once I had you.

I can’t be sure how hard it will be to interact differently.

I miss the uncertainty of the chase, and imagine the contentment of being settled.

I do, I have no desire to turn back.

But smiling with worries goes against the blessings of Heaven.

You are the unopened gift which I have waited for my whole life.

This love is too precious, and there are no more ifs once it’s in my hands.

I’m not afraid of carrying you on my back, walking our entire lives with you on my shoulders.

I’m just afraid that one person suffering will cause two people to be lonely.

I wish to be so serious. {Tl: I changed this line.}

Will you miss the romantic blindness of the past?

You are the unopened gift which I have waited for my whole life.

This love is too precious, and there are no more ifs once it’s in my hands.

I’m not afraid of carrying you on my back, walking our entire lives with you on my shoulders.

I’m just afraid that one person suffering will cause two people to be lonely.

You are the unopened gift which I have waited for my whole life.

This love is too precious, and there are no more ifs once it’s in my hands.

I’m not afraid of giving you all that is good, I can carry the bad things by myself.

I’m just afraid that to make you happy, I will be embarrassed to complain to you again.

Make all of them envious.

I wish you happiness.

Pan Lei sang in a deep and low voice to Tian Yuan. I am willing to carry you on my back for a lifetime; you are the gift I have been waiting for for half a lifetime; I hold you in the palm of my hand, and I will offer you everything good; I want to make you happy; I want everyone to be envious; I hope you will always be so happy.

This was all he hoped for, all he desired. I am willing to do anything as long as you are happy. I want everyone to be envious of you. Even if our relationship is unorthodox, I owe it to you to make you happier than anybody else.

I say I love you with my mouth, but you see how I shall treat you in this life with your heart. I love you, not just a name; I'll turn it into an action and a smile on your lips.

Honey, you are my most cherished, and having you is my greatest blessing.

---

Footnotes:

[1] (To live together until the) white hairs of old age (idiom); to live to a ripe old age in conjugal bliss; until death do us part.

[2] Be in conjugal bliss till old age.

[3] Give birth to a son soon (propitiatory compliment to newly-weds).

[4] Basically, TY is an awful singer.

[5] Victor Wong Pin Guan is a Malaysian Chinese singer who has made a name for himself in Taiwan's music scene. English Translation by Tianlu @ chinesepandamusic.wordpress.com. The site has the video, English translation, Chinese lyrics, and Pinyin.

---

Translator:

What a treat to have a ready-made English translation!! Bless you, Tianlu!

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IDYTRAA - Chapter 225

Chapter 225 Mama Tian’s understanding of lóng fèng chéng xiáng

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Pan Yue returned from Africa in a hurry, even more tanned, with tears in her eyes, and wearing an African indigenous tribe's bridal dress, which was a skirt made of hide and grass. She also wore a grass-woven crown adorned with flowers and ostrich feathers, which she stuffed into Tian Yuan's hand when she saw him.

"Laoniang is totally exhausted. I ran around Africa for a couple of months looking for this attire and eventually found a set. You can wear this dress to the wedding tomorrow."

Tian Yuan's brow twitched. Let's keep such sexy clothing for you. Let this black rose wear it when she marries, if she marries at all.

"Big sis, we've already prepared a wedding suit, so save this dress as a souvenir. You can wear it when you get married."

"Laoniang wants to get married in a bikini suit."

Pan Yue shook her head and sighed, filled with all kinds of jealousy and hate.

"You truly don’t want to consider me? Are you sure you want to get married to him? It's better for you to follow me rather than him."

"You will never marry in your life, if you ask me. How can a man like you with you like this? You keep saying "laoniang" all day, can't you be a little more gentle?"

Pan Lei stood guard before Tian Yuan. Pan Yue had long irritated him. He was betrayed by this woman. That whip that his father had given Tian Yuan to enforce family law was still hanging on the wall of their bedroom. He was horrified every time he saw it. It scared him the last time, so he blamed this woman.

"Pan Lei, you are wrong. Deputy Instructor, no, he’s been promoted to Instructor, has been secretly in love with big sis all along. Big Sis, all of his men will be attending the wedding, so you must dress up nicely. I promise the deputy instructor will fall in love with you at first sight, and we will be attending your wedding the next time."

How could Tian Yuan forget the deputy instructor? He'd remember the pot of stewed pig trotter with peanuts for the rest of his life. It was something women in confinement ate, yet the deputy instructor requested it from the cafeteria for him.

"You have a serious grudge towards the deputy instructor."

Pan Lei whispered into Tian Yuan's ear. Wasn’t this outright trickery?

Tian Yuan maintained his smile and said everything he could to push Pan Yue to the assistant instructor.

"Really? My mother said that she has prepared a little white dress for me. I need to dress pretty and get him fixed. Then, I’ll take him to my room at night. By this time next year, I will have let him become a father."

Mother Tian's teacup shattered with a clatter as this friend ended her bold words. Mother and Father Tian had been staying at Tian Yuan's residence for two days and were present when Pan Yue arrived. A number of friends arrived in succession, and Mother Tian was in charge of entertaining them. These children all appeared to be unusually attractive, tall, and smart, with distinct personalities. Mother Tian felt she'd seen everything, and she never anticipated they'd come across a girl here who was so wild that they couldn't accept it.

When Mother Tian heard this, she was about to serve tea and the teacup dropped from her hands.

She was terrified.

She was constantly rejoicing in her heart: Luckily, my son did not find me such a daughter-in-law, otherwise my heart couldn’t stand it.

"Leave it, Mom. I'll take care of it."

Pan Lei moved quickly, rushing his mother-in-law to the sofa beside Pan Yue. Despite the fact that the wedding was about to take place, he simply refused to go to the military compound. He had work here and would return only when everything was ready, then wait for Tian Yuan to pick him up the next day.

Pan Yue excitedly scooted up and wrapped her arm around Mother Tian's shoulders as Pan Lei went to clear up the trash.

"Even if you object now, Auntie, it's fine. You also want Tian Yuan to marry a woman, right? What do you think of him marrying me? I’ll give you a chubby grandson next year."

Mother Tian shrank back in fright.

"This is not a blessing I have. Leizi is excellent; I'm quite satisfied. He’s really good. Young lady, with your talent and personality, there will surely be boys who sincerely love you. Uhm, Leizi, didn't Xiao Yuan say there’s someone who likes her very much? You must introduce him to her at the earliest."

"Of course. I’d also like to have a brother-in-law. Then I’ll inform my brother-in-law that your wife stated it’s okay to beat one’s wife. If a wife is disobedient, a firm slap will bring her back into line. I’ll have my brother-in-law tidy you up. Let’s see whether you still dare to provoke our couple's feelings."

"This is absolutely unacceptable. A couple must not resort to violence. You can't be doing it, Leizi."

Mother Tian was quite terrified. A punch from Pan Lei was strong enough to break the bones of their family's Tian Yuan.

"Oh my God, Mom, he's joking. He doesn't dare, and he wouldn't even dare to touch my finger if someone gave him the courage. My mother-in-law has asked you to go over to their side when you arrive, big sis. They haven't seen you in ages and are eager to meet you. The entire family; all the uncles and aunts, everyone, has gathered in the military compound. I also saw your mother, and she misses you terribly."

Pan Yue clung tightly to Mother Tian's arm.

"I’m not going even if I'm beaten to death. They’re a bunch of Tang Seng^[1]s who will chant(nag) me to death. I’ll spend the night here."

"There’s no room for you here. We have a room and our parents have another. Both you and my family's Jindou'er can sleep in the kennel."

Pan Lei was particularly annoyed with Pan Yue at the time. She’ll be meddlesome if she stays here.

"I'll make my bed in your room on the floor."

Huang Kai phoned.

"Hey! You're getting married, so you have to have a stag night, no excuses! Come on out for some drinks. Someone will be in charge of you later, so enjoy your last night as a bachelor."

"Someone has always been in charge of me, you moron. Even if we marry, we'll continue to live as we do now, so what's the difference? I'm not coming, and I'm not going to let him come either. What will I do if he drinks too much and oversleeps tomorrow and does not show up to marry me? It'll be so humiliating to run to the hotel by myself. No, thanks. We’ll stay at home and get a sense of cohabitation, and then we’ll be justified. A wife is not as good as a concubine, a concubine is not as good as a prostitute, and a prostitute is not as good as sneaking around^[2], as the saying goes. You could say we’re having a clandestine love affair."

Tian Yuan whacked Pan Lei on the head after hearing him spew nonsense.

"Sneak around, your uncle! Say one more nonsense word, and see how I deal with you. We’re going. Huang Kai, we’re coming over. Zhang Hui’s place, right. Let's go."

"I'm coming too."

Pan Yue had to join in the fun. She couldn't play with any of the girls in the military compound since she was a child. She rarely came to China anymore, so how could she pass up the opportunity to play with this group of folks and have drinks with them?

Mother Tian shook her head. Am I too behind the times? After a few days of living here with her son, she discovered he was really happy. He had friends, a lover, and a comfortable and prosperous life. He was overjoyed to have someone with whom to share his life.

When the Tian couple first met this circle of pals, they thought they were good but also thought they were eccentric. They were getting old and couldn't keep up with their rhythm.

"Go put on your coat, baby. Are you really staying here today, big sis? I'll find you a bar, lest I worry about you climbing into my baby's bed in the middle of the night."

"You can't stay here today, Leizi, according to customs. It is inauspicious for the young couple to meet before their wedding. You must return home tonight. Did your mother not tell you this?"

They are getting married tomorrow, and according to tradition, the bride and groom are not allowed to stay together the day before their wedding. Since they got together, the young couple had been stuck together like glue, and no one said much when they began living together. This norm, however, must be obeyed now that they are getting married.

"I discussed it with my mother. I think it's outdated thinking, and there’s no need to respect it."

"Oh, my silly son, I'd rather you believe it. After you've finished drinking, send Tian Yuan back and return to the military compound. Come as agreed tomorrow."

Tian Yuan smiled as Pan Lei grasped his hair.

"We'll do what Mom and Dad say."

Pan Lei had no choice but to compromise. This way of thinking was too feudal and hence objectionable, but because they were getting married, it was best to attract auspiciousness so they would follow the tradition.

Pan Lei's clothes had already been delivered to the military compound. He had planned to wear a military uniform, but it didn't match with Tian Yuan's outfit, so he consented to wear a black suit instead. Ah, I haven't seen him in a suit yet. He’s sure to look dashing.

"Return early and don't drink too much. Tomorrow is a big day. Leizi, you should drink less, and you're bringing a girl, so don't overdo it. Take care of the girl."

Pan Lei held up his jacket and urged Tian Yuan to put it on before zipping it up for him. He patted Tian Yuan's shoulder.

"My spouse is so cool! Don't worry, Mom; we'll be home before twelve o'clock. Don't stay up for us. I'll bring him home and tuck him in before I leave."

Tian Yuan’s eyes narrowed with laughter. They were getting married, yet nothing had changed in their lives. They couldn't stay together today, but they'd be back to normal tomorrow. Pan Lei would still tuck him in before departing after ten thousand brief separations. It was wonderful.

"So sappy. I'll go get the car."

Pan Yue was the first to dash downstairs, and Pan Lei followed her, his arm over Tian Yuan's shoulders. Mother Tian shook her head and shut the door after looking at the "Happy" characters pasted on the door, the rhyming couplets, and the lóng fèng chéng xiáng^[3].

"He’s finally getting married."

The house was calm, the walls and furniture were spotless, and everything was nicely tidied. Despite the fact that it was a wedding between two men, it appeared that a bridal house was being prepared, and "Happy" characters were pasted. Their mood would be less complex if their son was genuinely marrying a girl. When they learned that their son was marrying a man in such a high-profile manner, they felt a little helpless.

But they could see it plainly during their short days with Leizi and Xiao Yuan.

Pan Lei got up early every day to go for a run, then walked the dog and cooked breakfast when he got home. When the porridge was done, he would walk to the bedroom and call Tian Yuan for breakfast, repeatedly shouting baby, baby, while their son sat at the table in a daze. Despite his desire to prepare for the wedding, he had to attend class, and Pan Lei handled everything on his own, even sending Tian Yuan to work every day, even if it was out of the way. Tian Yuan had reached adulthood, but Pan Lei still hand fed him.

Pan Lei even said with a smile that Tian Yuan had hypoglycemia, and he was sluggish when he woke up in the morning, so he couldn't go without eating. "If I feed him, at least he eats a little more. Open your mouth, baby. Ahhh…"

Mother Tian thought Pan Lei handled this far better than she did. When Tian Yuan was a child and made a fuss about not eating, she beat him to make him eat more obediently in the future. Pan Lei was super attentive with her son.

Tian Yuan didn't go to class or the hospital as it was the day before the wedding, but Pan Lei still took care of everything.

"Let's not worry anymore. Our son is happy and has a good life."

That's right. Once a daughter is raised and married, old people like them can rest easy. Their son-in-law was good, really good, and they were relieved to see him treat Tian Yuan so well.

"Tell me, old man. Lóng fèng chéng xiáng: the dragon is male, and the fèng in fèng huáng is ​​also a male bird^[4]. Do you think this lóng fèng chéng xiáng is talking about men like our son and Leizi? Perhaps it’s meant for them(gays)."

Mother Tian expressed such sentiments out of the blue.

Father Tian's eyes widened in disbelief.

---

Footnotes:

[1] Tang dynasty Buddhist monk and translator, who traveled to India to fetch a set of Buddhist scriptures back to China for the purpose of spreading Buddhism. Tang Seng usually punishes the Monkey King (Wukong) by chanting the words of the headache spell (緊箍咒) to control Wukong, which causes the latter's headband to contract and give him acute headaches.

[2] A metaphor for "wanting something you can't have." Back in the day, it was socially acceptable(excepted actually) for men to have a wife and multiple concubines, but they still sought prostitutes. This proverb captures the male psyche of seeking the thrill of "cheating."

[3] The dragon and phoenix are symbols of good fortune (idiom); auspicious; auspicious symbols.

[4] Fènghuáng: The males were originally termed fèng and the females huáng, but such a gender distinction is generally no longer observed and they are merged into a single feminine entity so that the bird can be paired with the Chinese dragon, which is traditionally deemed male. It was initially used to refer to men in ancient times. So technically it should be "long huang cheng xiang."

---

Translator:

Mother Tian's logic is flawless😂

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IDYTRAA - Chapter 224

Chapter 224 Wedding preparations

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Tian Yuan sat like a docile kitten in Pan Lei's arms, carefully and steadily patting his back. When Pan Lei said this, Tian Yuan's consoling hand quickly changed into a fist.

He slammed his fist into Pan Lei's back.

"Damn you! There is never a time when you don't play tricks on me."

It was great news, but Pan Lei was dishonest and duped him into thinking there was something wrong. Punching him was giving him a free pass; he deserved a kick.

"You’re so unreasonable. Why are you beating me up when I only wanted to give you a nice surprise? Don't beat me up all day after we marry."

Tian Yuan didn't bother looking at him.

"Don't tie the knot if you are scared of being beaten. I don't care."

Pan Lei rubbed against Tian Yuan and smiled shyly.

"I’m perfectly happy to take your beating. Just see how I stomp them to death if anyone tries to replace me. We have to get married, baby. You cannot back out and refuse to marry me at this time. Then I'll become Mr. NobodyWantsMe. The bride foolishly waited at home on the wedding day, but Sina^[1] did not appear. You have to come fetch me and save me some face."

Tian Yuan smacked him.

"Joker! I'm hungry, so go cook."

"Roger!"

Pan Lei removed his coat, put on his apron, and walked back and forth in the kitchen as he cooked, his tie tucked into his shirt pocket and his trousers well-ironed.

Tian Yuan leaned against the door frame and smiled at him. It was all outside, regardless of whether he was promoted or rendered exemplary service. He wore an apron and cooked for him when he entered the house. He was dressed in a military uniform and was peeling onions one minute and stir-frying the next. Isn't he a busy little bee? He hummed a ditty while cooking. The battlefield was his domain, as was the training ground, and so was the kitchen. This guy is willing to go to any length for me.

Tian Yuan patted his pockets, took out a cigarette, lighted it, and leaned against the doorframe, and kept watching Pan Lei. He enjoyed gazing at Pan Lei like this now, and he liked to see Pan Lei rush about for his sake. Why was he filled with the pleasure that comes from seeing your wifey bustling in the kitchen?

This tall and strong beefy wifey of his tormented him in the middle of the night. Tian Yuan laughed quietly to himself. Pan Lei, too, desired a drag and pouted at him.

Tian Yuan examined the cigarette in his hand, half of which had already been smoked. He simply took out a new one and held it to Pan Lei's lips before flipping open the lighter.

Pan Lei took hold of his jaw and lifted it up. And just like this, Pan Lei raised Tian Yuan's chin up and dropped his head while holding the cigarette in his lips. He cocked his neck and leaned in, as if he intended to kiss Tian Yuan like he had thousands of times before. But he didn't kiss him this time. Rather, he touched the unlit cigarette end to the cigarette Tian Yuan was holding in his mouth, held it steady, and lit it with two puffs.

Pan Lei smiled as he narrowed his eyes. His moves were akin to kissing, giving him the impression that he was taunting Tian Yuan. Pan Lei couldn't help but kiss Tian Yuan’s forehead as he watched him wait foolishly.

Tian Yuan grinned and narrowed his gaze before dropping the cigarette in his hand and pulling out another. He cocked his head and approached, as if he intended to kiss Pan Lei, and asked for a light in this method as well.

"Stop smoking. If you smoke too much, you will feel sick and lose your appetite. Go feed Jindou’er, or take him for a walk."

Tian Yuan didn't want to. Their family's Jindou'er, their son, was a truly magical dog.

An obnoxious dog with limitless potential.

Jindou'er liked to pee on slippers, which caused Tian Yuan a lot of pain. His feet were smeared with dog poop when he put his sneakers on. Pan Lei had admonished it several times. Jindou'er was extremely obedient. It stopped peeing on the slippers and started raining on the sofa legs.

When Pan Lei caught it doing this, he slapped it a few times and then led it to the toilet, where he placed a basin of cat litter and trained it to do its business.

Unfortunately, Jindou’er still liked to pee on the sofa.

Tian Yuan was dumbfounded and unsure how to deal with the situation. He raised his hand to slap it a couple times, but it looked so pitiful that he couldn't. But simply looking on every time it lifted its dog leg to pee on the sofa leg was not an option. Peeing there was far too unsanitary.

Pan Lei had no alternative but to lock it in the toilet after each piss session and let it sprinkle on the cat litter once more.

Jindou'er then altered its behavior.

It marked the sofa leg with half of its urine and then raced to the toilet by itself to pee on the cat litter with the other half.

Tian Yuan laughed and rolled all over the bed.

Pan Lei was awfully depressed as a result of this. This was the outcome of several attempts at discipline.

They began to keep track of the time. The dog had a biological clock as well. When the time was up, they took it downstairs for a walk and let it pee under the trees in the neighborhood, fertilizing the flowers and trees in the process.

In fact, it was getting close to time. Pan Lei threw him a coat as Tian Yuan opened the door and prepared to take Jindou'er for a walk.

Jindou'er, this little brat, had a terrific time every time it went downstairs. Tian Yuan had no choice but to wait for it to spray the flower bed.

Tian Yuan was bored to death as he watched Jindou'er hide here and there, and he reflected that this puppy had grown up, and it was no longer a small dog, but a medium-sized dog. Its fur had become glossy with proper care, and the golden fur was beautiful as it shone like satin in the sunlight.

"What’s with this expression? It’s like watching your dear son leave for college."

Tian Yuan raised his head and noticed Zhang Hui. Zhang Hui was also a fairly handsome guy, and he looked great with his back to the sun and a smile.

"What brings you here? You've arrived just in time. He's cooking, so let's have a meal together before you go."

Zhang Hui sat next to him, handing him a stack of papers.

"Isn't the date fast approaching? I've completed the seating arrangements and brought them here for you to see. You can also check out the banquet dishes. We can adjust anything if it doesn't suit you."

The couple was recuperating at home and living a tranquil life, but this gang of brothers was going insane assisting them with everything. Huang Kai, who was organizing the car fleet, called him and asked if he wanted a Rolls-Royce Phantom, a Cayenne, or a Ferrari sports car as the wedding car.

Lin Mu inquired about the assignment of the best men. Would they wait for Tian Yuan in Leizi's house, or would they accompany Tian Yuan as he took Pan Lei to the wedding?

The banquet was overseen by Zhang Hui.

The arm-flinging shopkeeper^[2] couple’s work was particularly comfortable.

Tian Yuan perused the file. Most of the people on the guest list he didn't know, and just looking at their military ranks gave him a headache. This was going to be a big spectacle with so many major generals, COs, and lieutenant generals gathered in one spot. Don't they think it's a bit awkward to attend the wedding of two men? This bunch of folks impressed him.

"I'm preparing for around 8,000 guests and setting more than 80 tables. It's a conservative estimate, so I'll arrange more. I heard that everyone from the special forces is expected to attend. The scene will be lively."

Yeah, really lively; like an armed rebellion.

"I don't understand this. You can show it to my mother-in-law. I'll be in charge of getting him to the venue that day, and I don't care about the rest."

"You can simply count the red envelopes after the wedding."

They had no idea when Pan Lei arrived downstairs. When he heard Pan Lei's greeting, Zhang Hui laughed. This money grubber.

While the two of them talked, Tian Yuan glanced through the file. When Zhang Hui learned about Pan Lei's promotion, he hit him and whooped, proclaiming Pan Lei to be the finest in their friend circle. Pan Lei now held the highest military rank among all the children from the military compound.

Tian Yuan noticed that Xiaji's name was on Lin Mu and Zhang Hui's table, which was odd.

But because this had been organized by Zhang Hui, he couldn't say much. Tian Yuan was gobsmacked when he saw Pan Yue’s name.

He pointed at Pan Yue's name, stunned. Did this brave black rose really wish to return?

"Oh, my sister has been asking about our wedding date for the past two days. She confirmed yesterday that she will return (to China)."

Tian Yuan was about to cry.

"Can I call off the wedding now? She's coming? She’ll definitely mess up the wedding ceremony."

Zhang Hui erupted with laughter.

"Leizi's paternal aunt will be there as well. This sister is terrified of her mother. She will undoubtedly be on her best behavior with his aunt present."

Tian Yuan was yearning to express: Isn't it okay not to marry? It's great to live like this. Isn't bringing that fairy back just asking for trouble?

He didn't expect a romantic wedding, nor did he desire a dream wedding. He wanted a safe and secure wedding. It would be terribly awkward to lose face in front of so many people.

"Laoniang** will be your maid of honor, younger sis-in-law. I'll hold the window open for you. If that a$$hole Pan Lei dares to bully you, I will help you out." 

Pan Yue dialed Tian Yuan's phone number urgently.

Tian Yuan's head hurt.

"Big sis, the two of us are fantastic. You don't have to especially come here if you're too busy."

"What nonsense! Laoniang must attend. My mother has prepared a gown for me. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before. I have to be your bridesmaid. I'll get off the phone and go get a ticket. I'll be back in town the day before your wedding."

Tian Yuan groaned and rested his chin on Pan Lei's shoulder. They'd entertained Zhang Hui for supper, who didn't insist on courtesy and left after a good time. Tian Yuan got a headache when their tough elder sister called.

"Let's elope."

When Tian Yuan blurted out these words, Pan Lei burst out laughing, hugged him, and kissed him numerous times.

"You’re so scared of her attending the wedding? She was just joking with you. She told me she really liked you when we were together in the UK. She would have pursued you if you weren't mine. Don't worry, everything will be OK. She may be tough, but she is not reckless; she is prudent."

"It's enough for both families to share a meal. Why do you have to make it such a public event?"

"I can't wrong you. This marriage must take place. I want your family, my family, and all of our relatives and friends to come and bless us and know we're a couple. Provide data and facts to back it up."

"You just want to play crazy. By the way, my parents are flying in tomorrow, so we need to meet them at the airport. I can't believe I got sucked in by a man like you and am now marrying you. It will be the burial of love and the funeral of marriage five days later."

"You’re talking nonsense again. Do you think I won’t clean you up? Don’t tell me my darling has a marriage phobia. I will be this good to you even after sixty years. Trust me on this. My love for you is like the waters of the Yellow River, flowing endlessly."

Tian Yuan kicked him.

"You’re clowning here; I won't marry you."

This sentence was a new threatening phrase: "I won't marry you." Pan Lei always obeyed right away.

"If you don't marry me, I will marry you. It’s the same thing."

---

Footnotes:

[1] Sina is a media company, and I'm not sure why the author used it in this context. Sina should be the groom...

[2] An arm-flinging shopkeeper is a metaphor for somebody who asks others to work but does nothing himself.

** Laoniang=this old lady. Arrogant way of referring to oneself; female equivalent of laozi. 

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Translator:

The cigarette kiss part was fantastic. I could totally picture the scene in my brain, and it was adorable. Looking each other in the eyes...kyaa!😍

Jindou’er is PL’s son. No doubt about it😆

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