Chapter 89 Racking brains for an excuse
The first time a daughter-in-law encountered her mother-in-law, she was normally very frightened, thus Tian Yuan's fear was reasonable.
On the first day, he feigned he wasn't feeling well. Pan Lei served him tea and water, massaged his waist and thighs, chopped a fruit, brought him a plate of nuts, and bought him some pastries.
The second day, Tian Yuan complained about his sore body. Pan Lei believed he had exerted too much energy. His physical strength was far superior to Tian Yuan's. A special forces instructor's physical health and that of a doctor who did not exercise were worlds apart. Pan Lei took Tian Yuan's hand in his and apologized for losing control and hurting him, promising to be more careful 'next time.' He continued, "Because your muscles are sore, I'll massage them for you."
On the third day, Tian Yuan refused to get up claiming he had a sore waist and backache. He said it was because Pan Lei held him too strongly the night before. When Pan Lei expressed uncertainty, he demonstrated his point by displaying the bruises on his waist. Pan Lei, in fact, gripped Tian Yuan's waist last night to keep him from fidgeting. Pan Lei had been successfully duped and was distraught to death.
“OK, we're not going today.” Pan Lei relented. We won't go if you don't want to. There are four days left on the one-week leave. I don't believe you'll be in poor health over the next four days.
On the fourth day, Tian Yuan hid under the comforter, pondering what fresh reason he could make to avoid going to Pan Lei’s house.
Pan Lei cautiously climbed onto the bed, lifted the quilt, and peered inside, allowing them both to converse inside the dark tiny tent made by the quilt.
"Do you feel better today, honey? If you continue to lie on the bed, you will become uncomfortable. Let's go for a walk downstairs."
Tian Yuan shrank his head and refused to come out of the quilt.
Pan Lei lowered his face deeper under the quilt, which was covering their heads.
"I don't have the energy to run with you for five kilometers."
"I'll run; you just keep an eye on me, okay? Come on, stand up! Get up, please. Get some fresh air instead of staying buried like a bean. Otherwise, your body will quickly develop bean sprouts."
Pan Lei had always dreamed that Tian Yuan would join him in his workouts. Even if it was merely a quick morning run, it was preferable to not exercising at all.
Tian Yuan slowly emerged from the quilt, and Pan Lei assisted him in retrieving his clothes. He'd be OK after three days of rest, no matter how uncomfortable he was. Furthermore, no matter how fierce Pan Lei was, he never bled. It was his muscles which were a little strained. Pan "first-class masseuse" Lei had massaged him till he was at ease, and he was already feeling better. He was merely playing tricks because he didn’t want to see Pan Lei's parents.
Pan Lei stretched out and began running around the community's small jogging track. His daily exercise regimen was strenuous. He couldn't, however, train at home. He would have come down and done a few laps even if it wasn't for Tian Yuan's sake.
Every time he ran a lap and passed Tian Yuan, he would pause and kiss Tian Yuan's cheek with a loud muah. Tian Yuan's face was hot, but he smiled as he stared at him. How many people entered and exited this community? Pan Lei ran a dozen laps, kissing Tian Yuan over ten times. A few people were already standing nearby, staring at the two of them.
When Pan Lei came by, his face was not heated or panting, and there was no evidence of sweat on his brow. He drew Tian Yuan along with him.
"I can't run."
Jogging was definitely Tian Yuan's least favorite activity. It made him so fatigued that he thought his heart and lungs were about to explode. As a result, he never ran.
Pan Lei grasped his hand in his and moved forward slowly.
"Just run one lap okay? One lap is fine. It's just a kilometer. It will be done soon."
Tian Yuan was dragged and forced to run. He appeared to have returned to the university campus. A girl was holding his hand and dragging him around the jogging track at the time. He was a mature man now. In this world, things are constantly changing, and no one can predict the future. He had always thought he liked ladies, but suddenly he was in love with such a bandit-like man.
It's no surprise that some individuals believe that all guys think they like women until they meet their better half. They realize they are gay only after meeting their better half.
Forgive Tian Yuan for not working out okay? He couldn't complete the lap despite the fact that it was only a thousand meters. Pan Lei had to slow down and accompany him around the short jogging track.
"Tian'er, let's go home tomorrow. My mother has repeatedly called. Everyone is looking forward to seeing you."
Tian Yuan bowed his head and quickly thought of an excuse.
"Simply state that I am suffering from a headache and will be unable to attend. Let's go back, I've got a headache."
Pan Lei sighed and rubbed his brow.
"Why do you resemble Lin Daiyu[1]? A truly beautiful jade-like beauty with a melancholy and frail body ah~"
Pan Lei made an orchid gesture with his fingers. Tian Yuan was so enraged that he grabbed a finger and bit it. With his height, he still dared to do the orchid gesture?! He didn't know any better, did he? Pan Lei laughed and tugged him along as they continued their trek.
{T/n: Orchid gesture is where the tip of the thumb gently touches the distal part of the middle finger and the remaining fingers are slightly flexed, making the hand resembling the petals of an orchid flower. It is considered a sign of grace and femininity.}
"In other words, you still don't want to go?"
Tian Yuan was a man with strong convictions.
"I'm suffering from a headache."
He yelled at Pan Lei, completely unaware that he was a ‘patient’. He should at least pretend to have a headache if he claims to have one. His face was ruddy and his voice was loud. In what manner did he resemble a person suffering from a headache?!
Pan Lei was well aware that it was a blatant lie. But he didn't say anything about it.
"You were in pain on the first day. It's fine that we didn't go. You didn't want to go the next day since you were still sore. You refused to relocate on the third day. It's fine; it's just a little unreasonable. You say you have a headache and don't want to go on the fourth day. Tian'er, they are not tigers, but my parents. If you're afraid, I'll take you to the zoo to view the tigers and help you develop your courage, okay? They don't eat people, you will like them."
They're all excuses, and each one is worse than the one before it. He isn't even imaginative. Besides, regardless of how inventive he is, I will bring him home this week and introduce him to the entire family.
The whole family was curious about Tian Yuan, including his grandparents who were 80 or 90 years old.
I’d rather see the tigers at the zoo than his house.
Even the most unattractive wife has to see her in-laws. Are you unattractive? You are flawless in my view, more gorgeous than a fairy."
"Get lost. I'm a guy. Don't make a comparison between me and a woman."
"My grandfather supports us, and my elder brother and second brother will also be there. What are you afraid of? How about this? I’ll call Zhang Hui and the others. Let them accompany us."
"We're not planning a robbery. Why are we bringing so many people?"
This was a visit to receive recognition from the family. It wasn't a robbery, but a family gathering. But there were so many people, and they all wielded so much power.
“So, what's the issue? That's it. We'll go tomorrow. Your objection is without merit. Even if the sky falls tomorrow and you are unable to get out of bed due to illness, I will carry you to my place. In any case, a new bride is always carried into the house. I casually mentioned to my brother that we were officially together and had married.”
Tian Yuan was deafeningly silent. He realized he couldn't put it off any longer.
"Let's head to the grocery store. We can prepare for tomorrow now that we're downstairs. I'd like to get some money."
Pan Lei appeared to recall something, but luckily he had his wallet with him. You need money to swap money, ah.
They went shopping for gifts at the supermarket. It was the first time this new son-in-law would see his mother-in-law, so he had to make a good impression. Tian Yuan questioned aloud in the wine aisle if it was appropriate to present Maotai [2]as a gift. They could return to the mall and purchase a coat for his mother.
"Tian'er, don't look at these. There aren’t many dishes in the house. Let's go there and select some dishes you like."
"Aren’t we here to prepare gifts for your parents?"
"They've been prepared by my eldest brother. This afternoon, someone will bring them over. He is always responsible for gifts and the like. I don’t understand anything about gift giving, and I'm not sure what my parents prefer. My eldest brother knows it better than me."
Tian Yuan couldn't help but wonder whose parents were they. He had no idea what his parents loved! Poor Pan Zhan was forced to deal with everything.
During checkout, Pan Lei purposefully gave over 500 yuan in cash and received a bundle of ten yuan notes in change, making his wallet bulge.
"Ah, why do you need so much change?"
"For the purpose of playing mahjong. When the family gathers, the primary focus is on playing mahjong. Let me tell you there’s a spacious living room with three or four tables. Everyone - men, women, young and old, enjoys playing mahjong. They even forget to eat."
Tian Yuan was taken aback. This… Ah, what type of family was this? What brings together men and women, young and old, to play mahjong? They met at a military complex to gamble?
"Shit, 500 yuan is too little. You will undoubtedly be coerced into playing mahjong. Do you know how to play mahjong, Tian'er? I'd better get more prepared, or you won't have any money to lose."
He brought out another 500 yuan and exchanged it for small change, emptying up the supermarket change, which caused the cashier girl to continue rolling her eyes at Pan Lei.
Pan Lei placed eight hundred yuan worth of change into Tian Yuan's wallet when they returned home.
"My gambling luck is quite good. We'll be playing against my granddad jointly this time. The old man is quite wealthy. Because we are newlyweds, we need to save more money. Carry some food with you, by the way. It’s not that my family has no food, but no one bothers to cook. It’s impossible to keep waiting for them before eating. You can cushion your stomach when you are hungry."
Tian Yuan grabbed Pan Lei.
"Tell me everything I need to know about your family. Why do I have the impression they are not like any other family? Nothing you say will frighten me."
Tian Yuan assumed that his family was a traditional household. With so many soldiers, it was evident that this was a military family that had been passed down for generations. Shouldn't a general's family be very severe and have militarized management? He didn't dare to go because he assumed everyone would be glum. He was terrified that a certain military officer would shoot him to death for the crime of stealing his son.
Contrary to expectations, the family turned out to be one in which everyone neglected to eat while playing mahjong together. No one could accept such a chasm between imagination and reality. He was already terrified of confronting the severity of the military personnel strewn about the home, with the authority to deploy the soldiers. His adaptation was not particularly strong. What sort of superhero family was this, with a son profiting from his father and a grandson triumphing over his grandfather? It was far too unusual. Would they jointly hurl mahjong tiles at a male son-in-law returning home?
"I told you that the moment you see my family, you will fall in love with them. Don't worry, you'll see what I mean tomorrow."
Pan Lei was adamant about his family. Although they were serious when confronted with important issues, they all came together for pleasure, and everyone enjoyed playing mahjong. Some agreements were made more effectively at the mahjong table.
He was overjoyed when he realized Tian Yuan would be receiving a large number of red envelopes the next day. After so many years, he might finally be able to recoup some of his losses.
Footnotes:
[1] Lin Daiyu is a female character in The Dream of Red Mansions, cousin and thwarted lover of Jia Baoyu. The Dream of Red Mansions is one of the four Great Classics in Chinese literature.
[2] Maotai or Moutai is a style of baijiu, a distilled Chinese liquor. The liquor is one of the most universally popular in China. Buyers regularly spend about up to $127 for a bottle of Moutai but the price can rise dramatically for rare and good vintages. Some bottles sell for up to $20,000. Alcohol by volume: 38.0%, 43.0%, 53.0%.
Translator:
I am back! Surprise~ I decided to change my blog name. Trial period is officially over! hehehe. I can do this(ง •̀_•́)ง I have fixed all the links but if you find any broken link let me know. I am job-hunting so there might be delays with the release. Let's see how it goes. Wish me luck guys.
Finallyyy they gonna meet the pan family after so much of TY's excuses XD
ReplyDeleteGoing to inlaw😄
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