6.4 - Idol Wears Women's Clothes, not bad

Chapter 113: Idol Wears Women's Clothes, not bad

After finishing his livestream on the platform, Lu Heng washed, scrubbed and bathed, then curled up in bed and logged onto the Exorcist livestream platform. A high-profile announcement had been posted on the platform a day earlier, stating that Heaven-tier Martial Artist Junlin would start livestreaming tonight at 11, which is midnight^[1].

Heaven-tier Martial Artists don't livestream often because they already have a stable fan base and thus, a steady source of thought power, even without livestreaming. Furthermore, once a Martial Artist reaches the Heaven tier, progress depends more on communicating with the universe and cultivating their own state of mind.

Simply put, before reaching the Heaven tier, the focus is on cultivating the body, while after reaching it, the focus is on cultivating the mind.

For these reasons, Heaven-tier Martial Artists typically only take action when extremely powerful mutated creatures appear, giving their eager fans rare glimpses of the Heaven-tier Martial Artists' svelte.

This would be Junlin's first livestream after advancing to the Heaven tier, making everyone especially excited.

As someone planning to embark on the path of a Martial Artist soon, Lu Heng naturally couldn't miss the livestream of such a master. However, it was only around ten o'clock now, and this streamer, Junlin, was known for his elegantly indifferent style. He never warmed up the audience or did pre-show banter, always starting the livestream once he'd located his prey and calling it a day after the fight.

The waiting time was a bit boring, so Lu Heng clicked on Junlin's official profile and started reading.

Junlin, entry-level Heaven-tier Martial Artist.

Age: Unknown.

Real name: Unknown.

Psychic Weapon: Tang Sword^[2].

In the section for the streamer's photo, there was a half-body shot of someone wearing a half silver-black mask, obscuring their face.

It seemed that this Junlin was a low-profile Martial Artist, choosing to hide his appearance from the public. For ordinary people, the world of Martial Artists was shrouded in mystery, except for the glimpses they could catch through platforms like this one.

Take Junlin, for instance. Such a young Heaven-tier Martial Artist should be known to everybody in the Martial Artists circle. Yet the general public didn't even know what he really looked like. For Lu Heng, who had been marginalized by the Zhou family, Junlin's true identity was naturally a mystery.

This system worked in Lu Heng's favor for his upcoming plan, because it would not be good for the Zhou family to discover he was practicing Martial Arts before his strength reaches a certain level.

[Have you decided to wear women's clothing on the Martial Artists Livestream platform as well?] Little Assistant suddenly asked.

[You're overthinking it. I only cross-dress so that the viewers can't see my true appearance. Why would I fight to the death wearing women's clothing?]

[Oh, I thought after decades of doing it, you'd discovered the beauty of cross-dressing and wanted to revive your former glory days in this world.]

[I'm just using my work experience rationally to speed up the task progress.]

[Oh, bravo! You're awesome!]

[……]

Thinking of prepping for the livestream, Lu Heng immediately opened his personal profile. Accounts were tied to a person's ID on the Exorcist Martial Artists Livestream platform, and each person could only have one. Lu Heng had no choice but to directly take over the original owner's account.

The original owner's account name was "A Stroke Across and Down, Both With Heart^[3]." To anyone in the know, it was an easy giveaway, and besides, Lu Heng found the name truly a bit nauseous. Without hesitation, he clicked the rename button, only to find that every new name he entered was already taken.

In a fit of pique, he typed in "Idol," thinking self-deprecatingly that this name would bring its own fan traffic. But once again, the username was already taken.

The system responded with: This username already exists. The user is advised to add a relevant suffix.

You've got to be kidding me. Lu Heng remembered his earlier conversation with Little Assistant. On a whim, he added the words "Wears Men's Clothes" after it, then hit enter in a particularly dashing manner.

Congratulations! Username 'Idol Wears Women's Clothes' has been successfully changed!

What! Lu Heng finally realized that he had just typed the abbreviation for "men's clothes" and then just hit space and enter. However, in his input method, the first word was "women's clothes" by default^[4].

To make matters worse, when Lu Heng clicked the rename button again, a prompt popped up stating that he could only change his name once every three months.

At worst, I'll just lurk and not post any comments. This is how Lu Heng, who had a suffocating name, comforted himself.

As soon as it turned 11 pm, the moment Junlin's livestream room opened, hundreds of thousands of viewers poured in. This number swelled to a million within a minute and kept climbing crazily.

Even though the screen was still dark, the scrolling comments were going wild.

After a moment, the screen began showing scenes of streets and landscapes rushing past, as if the person carrying the camera equipment was in a vehicle. A voiceover chimed in at the right time: "Junlin is currently looking for prey, but he's too fast, and we've lost track of him. But don't worry folks, Junlin has a positioning system on him, and now we're speeding over to rejoin him."

"Hahaha, another episode of the livestream team losing track of Lord Junlin."

"I propose we crowdfund a supercar for the livestream team!"

"Seconded!"

"Tsk tsk tsk, you mortals think a supercar can catch up with Lord Junlin? So naive."

Due to the overwhelming number of scrolling comments, the system had automatically switched the chat to a random display mode to prevent it from interfering with the viewing experience. As Lu Heng skimmed the barrage full of reverence, he couldn't help but compare them to phrases like "kiss, hug, lift me high" that crowded his own livestream room. He was envious.

I really need to unblock my heart apertures and get onto the Martial Artists Livestream platform. That's the true path.

At that moment, the screen shook violently before finally stabilizing. The now somewhat blurry image showed an empty small park.

There are such small parks in every corner of the city. They were specially designed for Martial Artists to get rid of mutated creatures, so as to prevent damage to city infrastructure or harm to innocent populace. Experienced Martial Artists would skillfully lure mutated creatures into these parks before starting the battle.

The livestream team expertly turned on the lighting equipment provided in the small park, instantly bringing the scene into focus. The most shocking thing in the picture was the giant mutated mantis, standing as tall as a person. Mutated insects generally don't grow too big in size, but when they do, they become incredibly difficult to deal with.

Especially since the creature before their eyes was a mantis, which was well-known for its attack power among insects. No wonder a Heaven-tier Martial Artist was called in to deal with it! Before this, several Earth-tier Martial Artists had already been injured by the mutated mantis's massive, blade-like forelimbs. The most severely injured person had his left arm severed cleanly at the base.

Dressed in a black Martial Arts uniform and wearing a silver-black mask, Junlin stood with his hands behind his back, facing off against the mutated mantis. Even with its mutation, the mantis retained its natural hunting habits. Its large compound eyes were fixed on the living thing before it, forelimbs drawn back and hind legs tense, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and deliver a fatal blow.

Seeing that the livestream team had arrived, Junlin extended his right hand, and a pitch-black Tang sword slowly materialized in midair.

The appearance of the psychic weapon instantly triggered a sense of danger in the mutated mantis. This hunter that typically relied on ambush tactics, finally made its move—its hind legs snapped with explosive force, launching its body forward, and its lethal forelimbs slashed down with deadly precision.

But Junlin was even faster. With a swift thrust of his Tang sword, he perfectly wedged it into the joint of the mantis's forelimbs, stopping its vicious attack dead in its tracks, leaving those deadly weapons unable to move even an inch further.

"Junlin's speed has increased again. Good thing we just spent money on the latest high-speed camera, or we wouldn't have been able to capture it at all," the commentator sounded a bit thankful.

The livestream team wasn't at all worried about the fierce battle affecting them. Any Martial Artist confident enough to bring a livestream team along had to first ensure that their team wouldn't be harmed during combat. Martial Artists who couldn't guarantee this were lone fighters. Thus, having a dedicated livestream team became a unique measure of a Martial Artist's strength.

On scene, the battle was drawing to a close. While the mutated mantis was as fast as lightning, its endurance was lacking. Faced with an equally fast Junlin, its advantage was completely suppressed. Before long, Junlin spotted a flaw in its defense, and with a swift strike, the Tang sword pierced through the mantis's compound eyes. It collapsed to the ground, dead beyond any doubt.

"It's over?"

"That was only a few minutes! Not enough, not enough! We need more!"

"Lord Junlin, don't leave yet! Let us catch one more glimpse!"

Seeing that Junlin had dispersed his psychic weapon and was about to leave, the commentator hurriedly called out, "Junlin! Wait!"

For the first time during the entire livestream, Junlin turned his gaze toward the camera. His eyes were as calm as a lake frozen for a thousand years, without any fluctuation. To him, the fierce battle moments earlier seemed like he had simply squashed a bug.

"This is your first livestream since advancing to the Heaven-tier. How about saying a few words to your fans?"

Out of view of the camera, the commentator desperately mouthed: Your esteemed father insisted!

Junlin stood in place for a few seconds before finally walking over. The commentator, whose heart had been in his throat, finally breathed a partial sigh of relief. After all, this was the revered Martial Great Uncle of the Gu family, who had never once interacted with fans during a livestream. He always left immediately after the fight, never saying a word.

The moment Junlin moved, the barrage exploded. Everyone was frantically posting comments, hoping to catch his attention and become the first person ever to interact with him.

Gu Lingjun glanced at the rapidly scrolling comments on the screen and still felt reluctant to speak. He was about to ignore the commentator's desperate, pleading eyes and turn to leave, but then something caught his eye—a name.

Idol Wears Women's Clothes: Lord Junlin, please grace me with your presence!

Lu Heng, his fingers just lifted from the keyboard, had been caught up in the frenzied atmosphere of the comment section. On impulse, he copied and sent one of the comments, figuring that with the bullet screen scrolling so fast, no one would notice his eyesore of a username.

However, what you fear most always comes to pass.

On screen, Junlin spoke: "Idol Wears Women's Clothes, not bad."

With that, he turned and swiftly vanished from view, leaving behind a wild barrage spree.

That ID, Idol Wears Women's Clothes, became an overnight sensation.

#NationalLoveRival, Idol Wears Women's Clothes#

#LuckSoGoodLightningWillStrikeYouDown, Idol Wears Women's Clothes#

Hashtags centered around this magical ID dominated the trending topics on the Exorcist Martial Artist Livestream platform.

At that moment, Lu Heng sorrowfully closed the in-app message, rejecting the suicide application for his ID. Sighing, he prepared to attend the Zhou family's Hongmen Feast^[5].

Zhou Family.

"Not long from now, it's the National Ancient Martial Arts Exchange Conference. The event will be exclusively livestreamed during prime time on the platform. Xiao Shu, our family managed to secure a spot for you to compete. You have to perform well and make sure you get some screen time to build a fan base..." After perfunctorily asking Lu Heng a few questions about his living situation, Father Zhou quickly shifted to giving detailed advice to Zhou Yishu.

Lu Heng kept his head down, eating his meal, utterly bored as he listened to the father and son put on their display of familial affection. He still had no idea why they had called him back—was it just to watch them pave the way for Zhou Yishu's Martial Path?

At that moment, a pair of chopsticks served jade shrimp in Lu Heng's bowl. He looked up and saw Mother Zhou smiling gently: "Xiao Heng, don't just focus on eating. This jade shrimp is your favorite dish, and I made it myself today. Eat up."

Lu Heng obediently picked up the shrimp and took a bite, while mentally rummaging through his memories. He couldn't recall the original owner having any particular fondness for jade shrimp. If anything, it was Zhou Yishu who always devoured an entire plate.

"Oh, and Xiao Heng, when your brother competes, you should go along to observe and get familiar with the process. Your brother will be fully focused on Martial Arts in the future, so the logistical work will fall on you as the older brother. You know, brothers of one mind can accomplish anything." Mother Zhou added another piece of shrimp to his bowl, all smiles. 

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Footnotes:

[1] Feeling confused? Remember in the arc intro chapter when it mentioned creatures mutating around midnight? In English, we say "midnight," but the author used the word 子时, which refers to the time between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m.

[2] The Tang sword refers to a specific type of sword from the Tang dynasty in China, known for its straight, double-edged blade.

[3] 一 横 一 竖 皆 有心: yi heng yi shu jie you xin. The twins are named 一 恒 (Yiheng) and 一 树(Yishu). The original owner used homophones to disguise his identity while simultaneously conveying a deeper meaning. 一 横 一 竖 皆 有心 suggests Yiheng and Yishu are "of one mind" or share a deep connection.

[4] 男装 and 女装 respectively. Who hasn't been left red-faced by autofill or autocorrect, right?

[5] social gathering (e.g. a party or meeting) with conspiracy against its guest; malicious invitation; trap.

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