Chapter 227 I won’t marry you if you don’t go home
Mama Dang Hong interrupted their intention to make an all-night fuss with a phone call about twelve o'clock. "Bring your a$$ back home! Return now. Lin Mu, Huang Kai, and Zhang Hui, you three little brats will also accompany him home. We need to set up Leizi's marriage bed today and need a virgin man."
The day before the bridegroom's wedding, a virgin boy is invited to press on the top of a heated bed, which implies that a fat boy will be born in the following year, which is auspicious, according to customs and practices handed down through the ages.
Mama Dang Hong's phone call had everyone in stitches. Aside from the reality that two adult guys like them couldn't have a child, who was this virgin lad she mentioned? No one wanted to lose face or be noticed, therefore who dared to stand up and declare himself a virgin?
Huang Kai scratched his nose.
"I'm afraid I'm not qualified for it. I'll go home and sleep today, then take the motor fleet to Tian Yuan's residence tomorrow."
Pan Ge sipped a glass of wine.
"Come back with me today, Huang Kai. You are in charge of the wedding car crew. You drank a lot tonight. I'm worried you won't get up tomorrow, delaying important business, so let's go. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui, send Leizi back. Call tomorrow."
"I'm not going either. Virgin male? Bah, who’d be a virgin at this age. I long for the days when I was studying overseas. Foreign chicks were continuously following me around. I gave up my virginity a long time ago."
"Don’t tell me I am suitable." Nobody wanted to lose face. They were thirty years old, and remaining a virgin was absurd.
"I am, but I’m not going. I want to be on top of the heated bed for Tian Yuan. I told him I’d be his bridesmaid. Damn it! Laoniang has been abstinent for almost 30 years. So f*cking embarrassing. Tian Yuan, go home with Big Sis. Today, Big Sis will sleep with you in her arms and place you on top of the heated bed."
"The unmarried are all virgins, according to old customs. Move! Third Aunt gave an order over the phone, and no one dares to ditch. Let's get started. We'll just play mahjong until dawn at home, so let's go."
Pan Lei pushed Pan Yue away. He had a little too much to drink today, so he was irritated when he looked at Pan Yue. Pan Yue had stuck to Tian Yuan throughout, making him unhappy.
"I'll accompany you home, baby. I'm not interested in them; I'm interested in you. Let's go to bed and save ourselves some trouble tomorrow. We will go to the ceremony at the hotel together."
Pan Zhan stepped forward to separate the couple, one on each side, and shoved Pan Lei to Lin Mu and the others, while tossing Tian Yuan to Pan Yue.
"They each return to their respective homes. Tomorrow, you'll be together forever. Follow the instructions and get home as soon as possible."
"Go back with Big Sis, handsome. Big Sis will make your night unforgettable."
Pan Yue helped Tian Yuan up, wiped his face, and assisted Tian Yuan out, smiling like a pervert.
Pan Ge snuck Huang Kai into his car, waved his hand, and they were the first to go.
Pan Lei had consumed too much alcohol, and when he saw Pan Yue groping his sweetheart, he raced up with a cry and desperately tugged on the car door to keep them from leaving.
"Witch, where are you taking my husband? He's mine. You're kidnapping my man. Who am I going to marry? Let him go."
This good-for-nothing! The rest of the guys turned their necks away, indicating that this inebriated man had nothing to do with them.
"Stop it! Wait for me at home. I will marry you home tomorrow."
Tian Yuan also drank a lot, but at least he didn't stumble from drunkenness.
"No, let's go home together today. F*ck these feudal traditions, it's all so f*cking pedantic. I want to sleep with you. This female pervert will eat you if I don't sleep with you today."
He forcefully opened the car door, climbed in, hugged and kissed Tian Yuan, nestled against him, and smiled foolishly.
"I don't want to be apart from you for even a second."
"F*ck off! Just take a look at yourself. Go find your mother if you want to be clingy. You’re so sticky, I’m going to kick you to death!"
Pan Yue slammed the steering wheel furiously.
"You two will also follow me home. Both of their mothers have constantly ordered us that Leizi is not allowed to sleep at home today and must return to the military compound. He's just drunk and bothering everyone. After a while, he will fall asleep, and you will carry him away."
"Whoever knows this couple will not live in peace."
What choice did they have? Mama Dang Hong’s command had to be obeyed. Did they dare to ignore her? Pan Lei started twisting around again. The only way was to drive behind their car.
Pan Yue, the WoMan, drove the car like it was a race car. Lin Mu, the man who dealt with corpses all day, broke out in a cold sweat, and Zhang Hui also sobered up, wishing to pull Pan Yue over, slap her a few times, and throw her into the trunk. This WoMan was too damn tough.
Pan Lei threw his arms around Tian Yuan, called him baby, and kissed him loudly. "Baby, one kiss, one bite," he said. Kiss, kiss, kiss. Tian Yuan had no choice but to implore him to stop and not cause trouble, but Pan Lei ignored him. He kissed and hugged him nonstop until he hauled him onto his lap, where the face-to-face kissing got increasingly intense.
Tian Yuan had no option but to wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him, and the two of them became sticky as a result of the kiss. They'd drank too much at the time, and no one could stand such a kiss.
Pan Yue could see Tian Yuan's clothes being lifted in the rearview mirror.
"F*ck me! You two restrain yourselves a bit. You’re in a car. Laoniang is still an unmarried maiden!"
His grandma! Could they not be so hungry and thirsty? Think about the driver, please. This was not a Rolls-Royce extended model, so there was no partition in the middle. The sound of their kisses stimulated people, and were they thinking of car sex? Can you let people live?
Pan Lei kissed Tian Yuan's collarbone.
"You, get out of the car for me. Make room."
Pan Yue grabbed a bottle of water and flung it towards Pan Lei.
"Your grandma! Please restrain yourself. Drink this bottle of water and cool down. Don't play hooligan all the time."
Pan Lei was seriously drunk. He considered it after hearing Pan Yue's roaring.
"My paternal grandma is your maternal grandma."
Tian Yuan burst out laughing. Listening to these two brainless individuals's conversation could make anybody laugh to death. He bit Pan Lei's lips.
"Leizi, be obedient. Stop messing around. Don't pass out from dizziness. Come on, lean on me and take a nap. Tomorrow will be a hectic day for us."
"I want to hold you to sleep."
Pan Lei hugged him and acted coquettishly.
Tian Yuan cradled his large head in his arms, while Pan Lei rubbed against his chest, entranced by his eyes.
"Holding the warm, sweet beauty fills my heart with joy."
Tian Yuan pinched his cheek. You a$$hole, you’re flirting with me even when you’re drunk.
They had a difficult time returning home. Pan Lei clutched Tian Yuan hard and refused to let him go, one inside and one outside the door, divided by the door frame. Pan Yue had had enough of them and went to her room to take a shower first. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui were concerned that Pan Lei would fall down the stairs after drinking too much, so they tried to persuade him.
"You're coming with me."
"You'll get together tomorrow. Come home with us instead of causing trouble."
"No, I'm not leaving."
Zhang Hui lit a cigarette, while Lin Mu merely filmed with his phone. He was curious about their farce and how long they would play for. It had been two hours since they finished drinking, and they’d play mahjong for a while after they got home. It was nearly daybreak, and he was still grumbling over their brief separation.
Tian Yuan blocked Pan Lei's path and refused to let him enter.
"Go home, don't make trouble. I’ll pick you up before nine o'clock, okay?"
"Then let me kiss you."
Tian Yuan let him have a taste. Pan Lei still didn't leave, clinging to him.
"Why can’t I stay with you today..."
Tian Yuan was pissed off. You ba$tard, I’ve coaxed you endlessly, yet you’re still unsatisfied. He stomped on Pan Lei's leg. Mother Tian was flustered. When she noticed her kid, who was speaking softly at the time, suddenly began using force, she quickly stopped it. How can he beat someone; this is domestic violence!
"Beat it right now for laozi! Get lost this instant! Keep babbling, and I won't marry you tomorrow. I'll marry Pan Yue."
"Yeah, yeah."
Pan Yue was not scared of such petty concerns, and nodded quickly from the sofa.
"I'm going, I'm going. Baby, promise me you'll drive over to marry me."
"You leave right now, and I'll marry you tomorrow."
This idiot deserves to be beaten. A dog requires a firm hand. He coaxed him, but he was disobedient; nonetheless, once he beat him up, he was immediately honest.
"Then you must promise me that we will travel to Canada to obtain a marriage certificate."
"Fine."
"Then kiss me goodbye and I'll be gone. Don't miss me too much."
Tian Yuan kicked the anti-theft door and glared at Pan Lei. Pan Lei regained 50% of his wits and escaped downstairs. Lin Mu and Zhang Hui were unable to move because they were laughing so hard. They have never seen anything like that. Pan Lei had to be pretending to be dumb by taking advantage of his inebriation to act coquettishly and shamelessly. He intended to take advantage of the situation and asked Tian Yuan to look after him. Coax him to satisfy his little boy heart.
No matter how old a guy gets, he still has a child in his heart who wishes to be coaxed.
You will act stupid if you drink too much. Isn't this ripe for a thrashing?
"You have to marry me tomorrow, baby. Don't keep me waiting too long. Nine o'clock is too late. You bring your car there at six o'clock."
Pan Lei was still talking pitifully around the corner.
"Get out! I'm not going to marry you tomorrow; just wait and see."
He slammed the anti-theft door shut, as if enraged.
"This moron wishes to be kicked to death. With only a little wine, he can go on and on. Clingy as hell. I'm not going to let him drink the next time."
"You kicked him out for good. Marry this Big Sis."
Pan Yue mocked the babies while picturing a grand wedding escape. With so many people, it would be quite the spectacle if one of the pair ran away and eloped.
"There isn't a single good thing in the Pan family."
"What are you saying, Tian Yuan? How can you talk about people in such a way? You're bad mouthing an entire family. Are you worthy of your mother-in-law? She has cultivated you wholeheartedly."
Mother Tian disapproved of her son's present aggressive demeanor. When did he learn this punk attitude?
"Auntie, he's right. Our Pan family only produces bandits, never decent people."
Tian Yuan was rendered speechless. The Pans had brainwashed his mother. Mom, you should consider the views of the genuine Pan family. They all say that the Pan family breeds bandits, and this is completely accurate.
"Oh my god, mom, please go to bed. We must be ready by seven o'clock. Big Sis, you are not allowed to enter my room today. Please sleep on the couch. I have a headache. I need to get some sleep before we discuss anything."
Translator:
PL is so shameless😆
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